Ready or not

My oldest son got his 'big boy' furniture when he was 2 and a half years old. It took me months of research, both online and in stores, to find the 'perfect' new bedroom set for him. I adored his nursery - my husband created a beautiful room, from the hardwood floors, to the crown moulding, to the chair rail and thick baseboards, to the light blue and green walls he painted.

It took me even longer to find the 'perfect' bedding - something soft, neutral, not too 'baby-ish'; something that was white, with some blue and green in it. This all came together beautifully with his furniture - the crib, change table, dresser, night table, bookcase and chair - all in white. My mom, the artist, created original paintings for his walls, in the same colour scheme as his bedding. It was the perfect nursery for my perfect baby boy.

Being the emotional person that I am, I had a hard time changing his 'baby furniture' to 'big-boy furniture', but I couldn't wait much longer, as I was about to have baby number 2. In the end, his perfect big boy furniture came from IKEA, an idea my dad wasn't too fond of, but an idea that we loved. The colour of wood was perfect; the bookcase, big enough, the bed, just right. He got a queen sized bed, and my mom, on the same day we put his bed together, came over with the 'perfect' queen sized comforter and bedding set - of construction vehicles, because, at the time, he was all about construction.

During all of this, my husband was also hard at work building my second dream nursery; hardwood floors, chair rail, crown moulding, new baseboards, and painting the walls a soft yellow and blue; I found my my second baby's bedding from Pottery Barn Kids, and we were ready to rock-and-roll for the second time.

Now, my sister is expecting her first baby girl - any day now - and her nursery, a beautiful white and pink room with green accents, fit for a princess - is ready. My sister has one request - for me to give her my baby's change table. My baby is almost 2 and a half years old. It's time to get him his 'big-boy furniture', too. Only, this time, I hesitate - because I know that chances are, this is the last time I'm going to see a change table in my house. I hate change. I really do. And when it comes to my baby growing up so quickly, it's even harder to deal with. I am having 'I can't part with the change table even though my baby is almost fully toilet trained' anxiety.

He is ready. He told my sister: "Take it. I no need it anymore."

Meanwhile, I keep giving her excuses as to why she can't come pick it up yet: "I need to find something to replace it with! Maybe I'll buy him a new play kitchen to go in that corner? Or a nice desk? We are not sure which bed to get yet. I haven't even looked for new bedding! I still do change his diapers on there, even though he barely fits, you know. I AM NOT READY!"

I'm running out of time. I know this week - or next, at the latest - I will have to part with that change table; the very same change table I changed my first baby's diaper on. And that makes me weepy and emotional.

Is this a sign I need to think about having a third baby? Well, not if you ask my husband or mom! It's just because it means another baby phase has come to an end. I can't quite picture my sweet baby boy in a queen size bed already. He still looks so perfect in his crib... even though he only spends half the night in there - the other half is spent sleeping beside me in my bed - a queen sized bed, also, that I love sharing with him. I love sleeping beside my children. I guess I could always share his new bed with him, until he's ready to sleep alone, right?

And of course, when the time comes when he no longer needs me to sleep beside him, you can bet I'll be an emotional mess all over again!