I don't have pet peeves; I have major psychotic f*cking hatreds.
(George Carlin)
Everyday, without fail, something will annoy me. I used to get really passionate about the things that annoyed me, (mostly politics) but a strange thing happened when I became a mom—certain things didn't bother me as much as they used to. I had bigger issues to deal with, like getting used to sleeping less than five hours a night.
However, I still have an extensive list of things that annoy me, and as my children get older, my list seems to grow, too!
Annoyances:
People who drive too slow.
People who drive too fast when it's snowing or raining.
People in mini-vans who think they're driving a Porsche 911.
Having to pay 5 cents for every plastic bag I need when I'm grocery shopping. Almost every store I go to is doing this now, and when I have two kids with me, and 50 items I just spent $250 dollars on, YES, I DO need some bags. Plus, I USE these plastic bags, so get off my case and stop ripping me off!
Parents who think they're superior and who think other parenting methods are wrong.
Parents who have too many rules for their children—in the end, your child is just as bratty as any other child. They'll still keep making the same mistakes, even if you give them a 3-2-1 countdown to stop their 'bad' behaviour, which, by way, isn't all that bad, it's just a kid being a kid.
Drivers who come to a complete stop before proceeding over speed bumps in parking garages. If my looks could kill, these cars would self implode.
People who walk way too slowly going down flight after flight of stairs during a fire alarm. Cut the small talk, and get the hell out of this potentially burning buildng, damn it!
People who think the BlackBerry is better than the iPhone. Some of my best friends still use the BlackBerry, and I don't understand how they can't see how much cooler the iPhone is. Sorry BB users! This doesn't mean we still can't be friends!
Whiny children. Mine included.
Children who say "Mine! Mine! Mine!" when my children attempt to play with their toys. My boys share all their belongings, and it makes me wish they could unlearn this niceness!
People who don't tolerate little children.
People who LOVE winter. I understand that sometimes it's fun to go skiing, or skating, or to build snowmen with your children. But to LOVE winter? Clearly, you're from another planet, because humans are not MEANT to live in arctic cold climates. We are made to walk around naked (think back to the original humans; they weren't wearing Canada Goose coats!) Having to put on 17 layers of clothes before going outside in order to NOT DIE is NOT NORMAL. Snow angels? Pfft. My baby was making sand angels in Florida.
Although I make plenty of grammar errors, I can't stand it when people spell 'your' and 'you're' wrong. It's time to learn, folks—you're not adding any new friends to your social circle if you continue to make this mistake! Also: 'There', 'Their', and 'They're'. I think we learned this simple grammar rule in um... grade five.
Moving on...
People who considers their pet their child, or compare their dog to a baby in a conversation.
Example:
"Baby Alexander kept me up all night— he was so sick, my poor child! I hope he doesn't have bronchitis."
"Oh, I know what you mean, my little Rufus was barking all night, I think he is coming down with something."
SHUT IT. Babies and dogs are NOT equal.
People who don't read books. I don't get it. I just don't get it.
People who only watch Friends re-runs, and don't like Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, or Glee. Especially Glee. (I'm looking at you, sister.)
Brad from The Bachelor. This dude is a dud. How can so many hot women LOVE this guy?
(George Carlin)
Everyday, without fail, something will annoy me. I used to get really passionate about the things that annoyed me, (mostly politics) but a strange thing happened when I became a mom—certain things didn't bother me as much as they used to. I had bigger issues to deal with, like getting used to sleeping less than five hours a night.
However, I still have an extensive list of things that annoy me, and as my children get older, my list seems to grow, too!
Annoyances:
People who drive too slow.
People who drive too fast when it's snowing or raining.
People in mini-vans who think they're driving a Porsche 911.
Having to pay 5 cents for every plastic bag I need when I'm grocery shopping. Almost every store I go to is doing this now, and when I have two kids with me, and 50 items I just spent $250 dollars on, YES, I DO need some bags. Plus, I USE these plastic bags, so get off my case and stop ripping me off!
Parents who think they're superior and who think other parenting methods are wrong.
Parents who have too many rules for their children—in the end, your child is just as bratty as any other child. They'll still keep making the same mistakes, even if you give them a 3-2-1 countdown to stop their 'bad' behaviour, which, by way, isn't all that bad, it's just a kid being a kid.
Drivers who come to a complete stop before proceeding over speed bumps in parking garages. If my looks could kill, these cars would self implode.
People who walk way too slowly going down flight after flight of stairs during a fire alarm. Cut the small talk, and get the hell out of this potentially burning buildng, damn it!
People who think the BlackBerry is better than the iPhone. Some of my best friends still use the BlackBerry, and I don't understand how they can't see how much cooler the iPhone is. Sorry BB users! This doesn't mean we still can't be friends!
Whiny children. Mine included.
Children who say "Mine! Mine! Mine!" when my children attempt to play with their toys. My boys share all their belongings, and it makes me wish they could unlearn this niceness!
People who don't tolerate little children.
People who LOVE winter. I understand that sometimes it's fun to go skiing, or skating, or to build snowmen with your children. But to LOVE winter? Clearly, you're from another planet, because humans are not MEANT to live in arctic cold climates. We are made to walk around naked (think back to the original humans; they weren't wearing Canada Goose coats!) Having to put on 17 layers of clothes before going outside in order to NOT DIE is NOT NORMAL. Snow angels? Pfft. My baby was making sand angels in Florida.
Although I make plenty of grammar errors, I can't stand it when people spell 'your' and 'you're' wrong. It's time to learn, folks—you're not adding any new friends to your social circle if you continue to make this mistake! Also: 'There', 'Their', and 'They're'. I think we learned this simple grammar rule in um... grade five.
Moving on...
People who considers their pet their child, or compare their dog to a baby in a conversation.
Example:
"Baby Alexander kept me up all night— he was so sick, my poor child! I hope he doesn't have bronchitis."
"Oh, I know what you mean, my little Rufus was barking all night, I think he is coming down with something."
SHUT IT. Babies and dogs are NOT equal.
People who don't read books. I don't get it. I just don't get it.
People who only watch Friends re-runs, and don't like Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, or Glee. Especially Glee. (I'm looking at you, sister.)
Brad from The Bachelor. This dude is a dud. How can so many hot women LOVE this guy?
Michelle from The Bachelor. Actually, wait—she's totally entertaining and I like her determination to win his love, as psychotic as she sounds. She's a go-getter, that one. And plus, I'm sorry, she's so hot.
Snooki from Jersey Shore. She sounds like a Gremlin, and she's SO unattractive. Even with a make-over, she'd always look like an over-processed old lady. The fact that she has a published book that I'm sure she didn't even write makes me angry. I bet she spells 'your' and 'you're' wrong, too!
The fact that Eminem didn't win Album of the Year at the Grammy Awards. WHAT? At least he won Rap Album of the Year. He's amazing.
People who bite down on their fork.
People why are mean.
Stepping in wet snow as soon as you take your boots off. Most annoying thing ever!
What are the things that completely annoy you?
Comments
Hopefully any of these annoyances don't interfere with your (not you're) LOVE day!
Anyway, I totally second your grammar errors one, the one about whiny kids, the Glee one (who doesn't love Glee?!), and totally the one about winter. What is wrong with those people?!
xo
Excellent list.
I'm with Kelly on the retail thing. Plastic packages that require a saw to open. They make me want to drive over the package with my minivan, which I drive at the speed limit and never would think I am in a Porsche.
And yes, Snooki is so baffling there are no words.
Thanks for the laugh love!
Happy Valentine's Day!
The grammar errors pick me. There is one blog I read that CONSTANTLY misuses your and you're. I might have to stop reading her actually.
Ugly shoes.
Grey snow in NYC.
Those moms with "perfect" kids.
The traffic thing that makes my head want to explode? Round abouts. They are putting them all over Southern California. I love the idea of yielding and not stopping and keeping the flow of traffic. But no one know how to use them. I can't even tell you how many times I've almost gotten creamed or almost smashed into someone that didn't go when they had the right away. They KILL ME, like hanging out my window screaming and shaking an angry fist kill me.
Verizon annoys me b/c it has taken them this long to get the iphone. Been stuck w/a bb.
My Annoyance these days..the idiots that PARK in the drop off only at school. What part of drop off only don't they get? Do they think they score the best parking spot ever EVERY SINGLE DAY!!
Also? When you buy clothes and they forget to take of the stupid metal buzzer of death. Especially on kids clothes. (Really Children's Place? Really?) It obviously works so well, since it didn't go off when I left the store.
Stupid people at Starbucks who have to look at the whole menu and then order a hybrid drink that they made up, which takes 15 minutes to finish saying.
People who post links to their own posts on Twitter, every 25 minutes, asking everyone to RT it. If I like something I will say it. If you do that? I unfollow on general principal.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when I'm being tailgated (and I'm NOT a slow driver, by any means), and my children are in the car with me. I pray for a red light so I can get out and tear the driver a new one!
Great post, Lou!