What would you do?

Remember when I wrote a post about stressing out over BlogHer?

I had reasons to be stressed.


"How will I find the time to meet, hang out with, and have meaningful conversations with all the fabulous bloggers I want to meet?'


"Will I wear my hair with loose curls, or wear it pin straight?"

Of course, these remain my two biggest BlogHer stresses, but let's add to that list, shall we?

Yesterday, after a hair-cut and my weekly blow-dry at my salon, my favourite hair stylist handed me some awful news.

"T, I need to book a hair appointment with you before I leave for New York City!" I told my stylist as I was paying.

"I'm not going to be here that week!" she replied.


"WHAT? What do you mean? This can't be! What about L, is she available that day?"

"No... she is off then, too. I'm so sorry!"

"Well. Can't you like, take another week off? This is kind of a big deal for me, you know!" (Okay I didn't really say that. Not like that. It was more like: "OMG! No way! What will I do? What will become of me?! The unfairness of it all!")

So I booked with someone else. I'm sure I'll be okay.

Aside from hair stress, the big stress, as you all know, is my mommy guilt over leaving my boys for a few days. Another big stress I have is just the thought of FLYING without my boys that is making me a nervous wreck, and making me consider taking Ativan for the first time in my life. (Even though I am the poster child for the person who SHOULD be taking that drug, with the amount of worrying I do.)


I just had lunch with one of my best friends. And guess what she told me? Our group of best friends has decided to go to New York City the second last weekend of August and they are begging me to go with them.

Most people would not have to choose between BlogHer and another weekend in New York City, because they'd likely do both. But me, stressed to the max as it is about leaving my boys for 3 days, cannot possibly leave them twice in the same month.

Also, trips like this with my best friends don't happen often anymore, With our busy work schedules and with our children, finding the time to go for dinner is an obstacle that takes weeks and dozens of emails to plan.

So now, I am torn and my stress levels are through the roof.

I so badly want to go to BlogHer. I so badly want to go to New York City with my best friends.

And I so badly need someone to help me figure out what to do!

BlogHer pros: Meeting a lot of amazing bloggers. Bloggers I've been talking with for years. Networking. The amazing and fun parties, the sessions, the shopping, the dinners, the late night chats.

Best Friend pros: Take a vacation with my best friends. A chance for all of us to be together in NYC, shopping, talking, shopping, going out for dinner and drinks and re-connecting.

I don't know what to do. Any advice, oh wise blogosphere?
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alison kramer said...

Hair stress is a serious problem that i understand :) but you are beautiful and i am sure it will look great.

You know i want you to go to blogher of course, but that is a tough call for sure. A trip with your best friends is a big deal and will be SO much fun i am sure....i'm not really helping am i?

Anyway, if you decide to go with your friends i will be totally excited for you and want to hear all about it!

:) Alison

Marinka said...

Oh, definitely BlogHer. Really, friends are a dime a dozen, but blog conferences are awesome.

Gina said...

what do you think your blogging friends are going to say silly?

Megan said...

Okay, you're stressing much too much. Why not a little of both? Friends in New York and BlogHer in New York?

What's to be bad!?

coffee with julie said...

I'd give you some advice if I wasn't so distracted by the mention of a weekly hairdresser appointment. So, that's how the stars always have wonderful looking hair! They go each week for a blowout! Does that blowout last the whole week or do you have to then re-do it again during the week? Once I get answers to these pressing issues I might be able to focus on the *tough* life decision you have to make! :)

p.s. You have THE best hair.

Marla said...

I would go with your friends. Your virtual friendships will continue to flourish. Other SM events will come and go. There will be another blogher. BUT Friends are priceless and irreplacable.. The once in a lifetime laughs you will share, IMO, win out.

Anonymous said...

DDDEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR.....Im stressed for you...i woldn't know what to do :( Sorry Im no help there :(

Krista said...

What a tough position to be in! I think go with your gut - it never fails. What feels right, is probably the right thing to do for you!

Good luck, mama!!

the mama bird diaries said...

Without a doubt, your friends. Blogher is cool but you can go next year. Seriously. But a weekend with old friends? I'd never give that up. And I totally understand stressing about leaving your kids. I always have a hard time with it but once you are on your own, it's so worth it.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Oh dear, I am not sure what I would choose either!

Jessica said...

I don't think I can objectively give you advice on this.

Maria @BOREDmommy said...

No idea what you should do - not very helpful, sorry!

Karma & Adam said...

Years ago, when I was so focused on my career, I chose work over an important experience with friends. I truly have regretted that decision every time I think about it...which surprisingly continues to be often. Big mistake. I've shifted my priorities since and would never choose "work" again over friends/family. So I guess you have my opinion : )

Maria @amotherworld said...

Maybe you can make an easy decision by just going to BlogHer because you booked it first...

BUT I will say, if I had a great group of girlfriends going to NYC, I'd likely want to join them.

CaraBee said...

Well, OF COURSE, I'm going to tell you to go to Blogher. Sha. Honestly, I don't know what I would do, though. Its a toughie.

Lady Mama said...

Ooh... I don't know what to tell you. Me, personally, I'd take the weekend with my friends. Tough decision - good luck!

Some kind of Wondermom said...

Will you feel left out when your best girlfriends get together after the trip and talk about how much fun they had? I'd go with the friends trip - those are the deeper, longer standing friendships that need to be nurturing. I find some relationships with bloggers can be fleeting.

JLA said...

If you have to choose, go to BlogHer. You obviously invest a lot of time and effort into your blog and this is an opportunity to really build on all that you have done so far, and to connect with like minds. Even though time with your friends is always amazing, you will surely have many more weekends away with them in years to come. You seem to spend a lot of your time helping others - I think going to BlogHer would be something you do just for you. In a really positive way.

Loukia said...

Thank you all of you for your thoughtful comments. Each one is making sense to me and then the next one I read changes my mind and back and forth, however, you all rock for your honst advice!
Thank you. Stil undecided. Maybe if I sleep on it, I'll know better tomorrow?

Mary Lynn said...

I can't tell you what to decide, but if it were me I would go with my friends and maybe go to BlogHer next year. I love my blogging buds, but when it all comes down to it, you have to nurture the relationships with people you know and interact with in real life.

Nenette AM said...

I say go with your best friends to NYC.
There will be another BlogHer next year. And I'll most likely make it to next years' event! ;)

Mary said...

Lou you have to come with us! I need another mom with me and who am I going to go shopping with at GAO shwartz!

Pres. Kathy said...

That is a tough one! If it was me, I would go with my best friends and go to blogher next year. An opportunity to go to New York City with your friends is a once in a lifetime. Either way you will have fun! Try not to stress too much!

LoopyJ said...

Just think of the great time the boys will have with their Dad:) What a great opportunity for them to bond and do things they might not do with Mom around! lol My kids always seem to do super fun things when I go away... I say go for both!

Anonymous said...

Just suck it up and do both!! Your boys will survive and will be that much more thrilled to have you home :) -Lucy

Chrissy MacCEO said...

If you are having doubts and want to sell your ticket....seriously, I'll buy it from you.

But....I have to say, I am sure that Blogger will be great. But, I am ALL ABOUT the weekend away with the girls. Nothing is better than a girls weekend and I am long overdue myself.

I am serious about your ticket, though. If you want to get rid of it, you know where to find me!

Sandy (@sandyel) said...

This is a tough one - and you clearly want to do both or you wouldn't be stressing about your choice. If you can afford it and your husband doesn't mind - I think you should bite the bullet and do both. Easy peasy. That's what I would do. Both will be great experiences that you clearly don't want to miss. Is this the first time you're leaving your boys for a weekend? You'll be fine and once you do it, you'll realize that they are ok and you'll be fantastic because you will come back to them super recharged and missing them so much! Just think of their smiley faces and big hugs when you return. ;)

Christy said...

Without thinking twice I'd pick a weekend with my friends over BlogHer! Blogher happens EVERY year! You can always go next year and plan your girls weekend around it. Plus, there are supposedly other blogging conferences too! Of course, if you choose to miss BlogHer I'll totally be bummed that we won't get to hang out, but I'd totally understand!!

Anonymous said...

What SHOULD YOU DO?!?! Obviously you should stalk your stylist down where ever she is vacationing and have her color your hair there!!

Flying without your kids....I really understand where you are on this. An ativan and a bloddy mary will fix you right up. A rosary. I swear to God my Hail Mary's keep the plane in the air.

Elaine A. said...

That's a tough one girl. Are you any closer to making a decision? I mean I could make a case for both... WOW. I'm sure whatever decision you make will be the best one! :)

p.s. if you end up having a ticket for sale, I might be interested... ;)

Jessica said...

I think I will die if my stylist isn't available two weeks before BH. Seriously, I'm already in desperate need.

I think you may have already made your decision- but I vote BlogHer!! Such an amazing opportunity to meet everyone in such a cool city. Plus- how awesome are your roomies and WHATEVER WILL WE DO if you cannot attend?! That in and of itself should be your answer ;)

I'm sorry you have such a tough decision here.. whatever you choose will be for the best and we will miss you dearly if you choose not to come to BH.

keep me posted!! xo