I feel very blessed being the mother of my two boys.
And I feel like my family is complete, especially when I see my two boys interacting with eachother - when I see Christos trying to teach Dimitry something, or overhearing him say: "No Dimitry, that is not a good toy - it's not made in Germany!"
Moments like that always make me smile. Even seeing them fight over a book or a rock is sometimes funny. I love both of their little personalities.
But then... I see a stroller go by with a baby inside, and all I can think about is how badly I want another baby! If you ask my husband, he will tell you he is absolutely not having another child because he is very happy with his two boys and he would probably tell you that he doesn't think I would be able to handle another child. And he's right, for the most part. Because taking care of two children - two boys - is not an easy job. In fact, it's pretty darn hard. But along with all the hard parts comes the most amazing and rewarding job ever. Worth every pound. I mean, second.
I love the stages that my boys are at now - my oldest son is almost 4 and he's such an independent little guy all of a sudden - going to the washroom alone, washing his hands, putting his plate away after he eats, helping out around the house in any way he knows how - and my baby boy, well, he's almost 16 months old. And he's really laid-back and easy to take care of. Yet, he's demanding. And taking care of both of them is tough! I can't imagine how I'd hold it all together if I had another child. But everytime I see a little baby, I start planning the decor of the newest nursery in our house. And start thinking about where all my maternity clothes are. And I imagine what my third child would like like. If it would be a boy - which I'd be so happy to have - or a girl - which I'd also love to have.
But then... my son will cough in his sleep, causing me to worry and start thinking terrible things and calling the Doctor first thing in the morning and taking him to get checked out and just thinking about the worry that comes with being a mom - I do not know if I can do it all over again. Because the worry is constant and seriously? Can I handle having another person to love and worry over? I don't know what the future holds for me - if my family is truly complete as a unit of 4 - or if we'll add another child down the road - but for now, I'm happy with my two boys and happy to ooh and aah over all the cuteness when I see other people's babies.
Seriously, though? Is there anything more amazing than holding a newborn? And taking in their little smell? Oh, my goodness... here I go again!
And I feel like my family is complete, especially when I see my two boys interacting with eachother - when I see Christos trying to teach Dimitry something, or overhearing him say: "No Dimitry, that is not a good toy - it's not made in Germany!"
Moments like that always make me smile. Even seeing them fight over a book or a rock is sometimes funny. I love both of their little personalities.
But then... I see a stroller go by with a baby inside, and all I can think about is how badly I want another baby! If you ask my husband, he will tell you he is absolutely not having another child because he is very happy with his two boys and he would probably tell you that he doesn't think I would be able to handle another child. And he's right, for the most part. Because taking care of two children - two boys - is not an easy job. In fact, it's pretty darn hard. But along with all the hard parts comes the most amazing and rewarding job ever. Worth every pound. I mean, second.
I love the stages that my boys are at now - my oldest son is almost 4 and he's such an independent little guy all of a sudden - going to the washroom alone, washing his hands, putting his plate away after he eats, helping out around the house in any way he knows how - and my baby boy, well, he's almost 16 months old. And he's really laid-back and easy to take care of. Yet, he's demanding. And taking care of both of them is tough! I can't imagine how I'd hold it all together if I had another child. But everytime I see a little baby, I start planning the decor of the newest nursery in our house. And start thinking about where all my maternity clothes are. And I imagine what my third child would like like. If it would be a boy - which I'd be so happy to have - or a girl - which I'd also love to have.
But then... my son will cough in his sleep, causing me to worry and start thinking terrible things and calling the Doctor first thing in the morning and taking him to get checked out and just thinking about the worry that comes with being a mom - I do not know if I can do it all over again. Because the worry is constant and seriously? Can I handle having another person to love and worry over? I don't know what the future holds for me - if my family is truly complete as a unit of 4 - or if we'll add another child down the road - but for now, I'm happy with my two boys and happy to ooh and aah over all the cuteness when I see other people's babies.
Seriously, though? Is there anything more amazing than holding a newborn? And taking in their little smell? Oh, my goodness... here I go again!
Comments
:)
I now love on other people's newborns and still get a full nights sleep! It's really the best of both worlds.
Cillian is an absolute dream and that makes me want another. I am enjoying him so very much!!
I want another, too!!
PS--I had to giggle at parts of your post b/c that's why I am now in my 3rd trimester with #2 :) But I am pretty sure this will be it...I think ;)
I come from a family of two children. Then a blended family of 4 children. I love family get togethers and love that I'm so close to all my siblings. If I think of taking one of them away, it just doesn't seem complete. I want to be surrounded by children and grandchildren when I'm older, so I think I want 4 kids!
But, my husband and I have agreed to take it one child at a time. LIke you, I'll have two boys and I know life is going to get hard so I'm sure I will be much like you and flip back and forth constantly.
I am so excited to hold our new baby but at the same time terrified!
I agree that two young kids are a handful. I am so busy and do not have things figured out yet with them.
We still struggle with routine and with bed time for Ethan.
I really don't know how I am going to manage with three, I am really scared and really excited.
I could laugh and cry all at once.
Sometimes I think I'm crazy because two is hard enough but I think it's just the first year that is the hardest. As my girls get older they are easier to take care of.
And since I will be 39 this year....it just isn't going to happen.
But it makes me so, so very sad.
And yet, I've donated most of my maternity clothes now and the too-stained-to-sell-or-give-to-friends newborn clothes.
And now that Tiny Man has outgrown his baby swing and tubs, I'll be looking to sell those on eBay.
A part of me still hopes that a few years from now I'll be buying all that stuff again and cursing myself for having gotten rid of it.
And yet I know that probably won't happen.
So I mourn the babies I will never have the chance to have.
And yet, I feel so lucky that despite being a high-risk pregnancy, I was able to have my beautiful second baby.