The Day The Internet Died

Last night, the Internet stopped working. It wasn't just in our house—it was all over the province and across Canada.

Of course, being the calm and rational person I am, I didn't think much of it... okay, that's a lie. My first reaction was: ALIENS! OH MY GOD, ALIENS! Followed by a more realistic thought: We are at war. We're doomed. We can't communicate with anyone and this is the beginning of the end. The Mayans were right! They were only off by a couple of weeks!

And then I was annoyed that of course this had to happen late at night, when all bad things happen. And then I was all upset because I couldn't even get onto Twitter to complain about the fact that the Internet wasn't working. No Twitter, no Facebook, no blogs, no Google to find out what the heck was happening... nothing. Radio silence. Oh, right—the radio! No reports of why the Internet wasn't working there, either.

I didn't know what to do!

I was too scared to move. I turned on CNN and of course, there was no mention of the fact that millions of Canadians had been left without Internet for hours.

And then my sister and husband started teasing me, playing on my irrational thoughts of doomsday, agreeing with me that it meant the end of the world, and I was like, tell me something I don't know, sheesh!

And then!

Miracle of miracles, the Internet started working again. The first tweet I saw when I was back online was the one about how another Earth-like planet was discovered. A planet that is five times larger than Earth. Oh, my.

Of course, the fact that astronomers found a planet that's essentially identical to Earth didn't calm me down. No, the fact that there is another US out there, but different? Scared the life out of me, really. And apparently, it's a very big deal that a planet so similar to ours was finally discovered. (Cue Twilight Zone music...)

Anyway, I'm back online now, (obviously) there is no war going on in my backyard, and aliens haven't invaded, yet, and our sister planet is too far away to really worry about right now.

Phew. We're safe for another day.

I really should give you all my phone number, just in case we lose the Internet one day FOR REAL. I don't want to lose touch with all you fabulous people! We'll just have to remember how we used to communicate... back in the day. You know... before the Internet even existed.
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Karl said...

Yes, give me your phone your own peril. Mwuhahahahahahahahahaha!

Katerina Mertikas said...

Hi, same here, I thought something weird was happening..and yes, we have come to rely on the darn whole internet communications thing.way too much..

designHER Momma said...

it freaks me out too when I lose internet connection. Like, what's happening to this sick world? No twitter? How will we survive?

Avitable said...

I didn't realize Canada had Internet. I just figured everyone tapped into the wifi of the US.

Jen Wilson said...

Um, WHAT?! I had no idea the internet was out. All over Canada? For real? or am I just really gullible?

And that is SO RAD about that Earth-like planet.

Ann Imig said...

Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not the internet!

We will unravel. There will be massive unraveling!

Elaine A. said...

You bring up a good point. I would have a really hard time without it! Like, truly.... !!!

Queen said...

Honestly not sure what I'd do if the internet went down! I totally missed should move to Nova Scotia. All was good here. And we have Theodore Tugboat!