Skip to main content

Wanting, lusting, needing

When I was 18 years old, on a summer vacation in Greece, I saw the purse of my dreams in one of my favourite stores.

I fell in love instantly. Yes, I'm a firm believer in love at first sight and in falling in love. Have you ever lusted after something, have you ever had a desire for something so fierce it is all you can think about? I have.

At that moment in time, this purse became my obsession. It was a little too expensive for me to be able to afford, and my money parents were nowhere to be found.

When I was 18, I didn't have a big collection of designer purses but my love affair with handbags began that summer.

This purse was perfect. It was small, too—like a clutch. It was black patent leather. And it had the most perfect bamboo handle. Timeless, classic, beautiful. I remember the fine details to this day.

Suddenly, my aunt appeared.

"Do you like that purse, Loukia?" she asked.

"Oh, yes, I love this purse. It's the most perfect purse I have ever seen. I need this purse so badly.... sigh..." I said to her.

I kept going on and on about this purse because I knew that in one week, when we would be heading back to Canada, she would 'surprise' my sister and I with presents, as was the tradition every year.

"Good to know how much you love this purse," she said, with a knowing smile on her face.

After our conversation, I was convinced that the purse would be coming back to Canada with me. I smiled at my purse, blew it a kiss, and walked out of the store with only a new pair of shoes in my hands.

Later, as I lay suntanning on the beach and enjoying the beautiful sea, feeling the hot sun on my skin, I started planning my outfits around the purse. My vacation was perfect.

Fast forward to our last day in Greece.

We were sad and emotional as we started packing to head back home, but there was still something to look forward to.

My aunt started walking towards me, gift bag in hand.

Looking me in the eyes, she said: "Here you go Loukia. Something extra special for you!"

I was speechless as I took the bag from her hands. I was careful to remove the tissue paper, and then... I saw it.

A white purse with beaded tassles. With a long over the shoulder strap.

"Um. Oh. Thank you." I managed to utter under my breath, while wiping away the tears from my eyes.

I quickly did some math and figured there was no way I was going to make it back to the store in time to exchange the purse for my beloved black patent leather clutch with bamboo handle.

I put the purse in my suitcase, and cursed at my mother who told me to leave my favourite Chanel perfume behind for my aunt, since she loved it so much.

17 years later, I still think about that purse. I use 'the purse' in almost any argument I am in about purchasing something you truly desire. I'm not talking about just another black sweater, but that one item that sticks out for you, that your heart flutters instantly for, that your palms get sweaty for.

You know when you walk into a store and see something you NEED? A gorgeous pair of Louboutin heels, a new Fendi bag, a beautiful dress...

Yesterday I was shopping at Holt Renfrew with my mom and my sister, and I saw the most beautiful blue dress I had ever laid my eyes on. (Along with almost every single dress from BCBG.)



It was $400. A little expensive for a blue dress. Not exactly the same as a LBD, and plus, I don't have that many events to go to where I can wear the dress in the next few months. However, sometimes purchases shouldn't need to be justfied. This dress needed to be mine.

I begged my mom for it for Christmas, but she had other ideas. I decided rather than my boys get me my Tiffany key that I also covet, I would rather open a box and see this blue dress inside—instead of a blue box, a blue dress! And I swear to God, I'll wear it all the time.

Life is too short to not cave in to what we desire sometimes. We're here for a good time, not a long time, right?

(I still don't have the dress in my possession, but I swear—the dress will be mine!)

Comments

You crack me up.

Love the dress....but I don't think I've ever been in a store that sells dresses for that much (except wedding dress shopping). Remember, I'm super cheap!
Avitable said…
Do it.

Doooooo it.

Doooooo eeeeeet.
Lady Mama said…
When I see something I love - really love, which is rare, I have to have it. Like you, I'll figure out a way of getting it (unless it's really unattainable). I can see why you needed that dress - lovely!
EatPlayLove said…
I don't lust after things anymore, which I find odd. I have no idea when that happened or why. I guess I lust after experiences more than things. I do drool a lot these days over furniture though. LOL.
Anonymous said…
Ha!!!! U r so funny I feel exactly the same way ! Im lusting for a certain camera right now that i will literally kill ....I mean ugh ....do anything for! I know that feeling where you feel like you will die if you dont get that special something you see.....and worse if you dont get it but then you see someone else with it!
Nikosmommy said…
When you see something that you adore you MUST buy it on the spot (within reason of course)....
Were u actually wearing that dress in your pic? (are u wearing sweater underneath? Or are u standing behind a mannequin? LOLOL I can't quite tell..either way it's cute!
Nikosmommy said…
ooooh you're holding it up against yourself! LOL
Alicia xoxxo said…
I feel the same way! When you see something that you LOVE and you can't stop thinking about it, it just makes sense to buy it! After several minutes of thinking that way, my unfortunate "rational" side starts telling me that it is too expensive and I don't need it. So then I have talked myself out of it! Boo! However, I did buy myself a GORGEOUS handbag last year! A little expensive, but so worth it! I say if you LOVE it BUY it! RIght now I am lusting after a C Dior bag.....sigh.....
You look even MORE super-gorgeous in that dress. Get it! GET IT!!! xo
Chantal said…
LOL You can't help who (or what) you love!
Stephanie said…
Lou this week has taught me something. Life truly is short. Get that dress babe. It was meant for you:)
Laura Marchant said…
Maybe that purse is on ebay by now, lol?
Oh that is super cute! I am currently in lust with a $650 coach bag so I know how you feel. If you can pull it off, you should do it! I'm going to have to pine a little longer for my bag, I like to torture myself. :)
Marinka said…
Oh, I know this battle.

I want to scream YES! GET THE DRESS! But there's a part of me with the whole nagging "but what about the kids? And their college fund? And, you know, food?!"

This is why no one likes me.
I have done that same thing SO many times. I have the same thought process as you, so I see it as perfect! love the dress!
Suzanne said…
Lou, that's a hot dress!!! It would have gone perfectly with your black patent clutch ;)
Scary Mommy said…
If I could rock a dress like that I would totally buy it. :)
Sandra said…
You're my hero! A whole entire post about a purse...sigh...I think I was in purse heaven there...oh, and the blue dress is fabu!
OHmommy said…
I love the way you think!
I obsess about that perfect item from time to time and usually just give in and buy it. It is hard when the price tag is over $200 though.... That is a beautiful dress!
Anonymous said…
I'd rather have a few really nice things than a closetful of ho-hum ones. (And that blue dress - and, I suspect, the black purse - qualify as really nice things!) It took me 33 years and piles of ill-fitting clothes to realize that, but I feel so much better about myself now that I've learned to spend money when it counts.
Burgh Baby said…
See, I would see the $400 and go, "I don't like it that much," because I'm a cheap ass and would rather buy 100 cups of coffee at Starbucks than one dress. Ha!
CaraBee said…
*whispers* Buy the dress, and the reason to wear it will come.
Pres. Kathy said…
If I was you I would buy the dress! You look awesome!
Unknown said…
Gorgeous dress....and I agree---if there's something that sticks in your head, sometimes you just have to go for it. I bet it would look phenomenal on you!
Gorgeous dress! I honestly don't think I could be you Loukia. Seriously, you are so supremely beautiful, even a paper bag would look amazing on you!
This is so like me... I can't afford the high end designer lines, but I do fixate on things and feel that I "must" have them. They aren't only fashion related either. I carried an antique teapot home from China and sweated my way through customs just because it simply called to me. I had to have it. The nice thing about this though is that we don't want EVERYTHING - and we truly appreciate the treasures that we do have. Or at least, that's what I tell myself while transporting a completely frivolous purchase like an antique teapot accross the Pacific Ocean...