30 Days of Truth: Day 8

It's time for another writing prompt. Who has been a bad influence in my life?

Day 8, 30 Days of Truth: Someone who made your life hell

Throughout my life, there have been people who have treated me badly. I've gotten into hurtful fights with friends but no fight was ever big enough that it didn't get resolved with tears and hugs.

There were a few rough patches in elementary school, some bullying in middle school, but mostly smooth sailing in high school and University, excepet for some heartbreak and anxiety. Overall though—those were the days and those days have a totally awesome soundtrack.

So then. The only person I can think of who has made my life hell is... me.

Mostly unintentionally, but still—I'm the only person responsible for my actions, so I have no one to blame except myself when things go wrong. It is easy to put the blame on other people when things don't go your way, but the truth is, we hold the power—to change, to forgive, to grow and to do the things we need to do.

I'm the reason I didn't get straight A's in school, because despite my parents sternly telling me to study more, I had other ideas.

I'm the reason I recently had to pay over $1500 to fix my car, because I was distracted as I pulled out of my parking garage at work, damaging the front-end of my car.

I'm the reason I still have lose those extra five pounds, because I wasn't careful enough about what I was eating and I have not been going to the gym regularly.

I'm the reason I worry about my health because I don't go to the doctor when I should.

I'm the reason I have a tough time disciplining my boys, because I didn't say no when I should have.

I'm the reason I'm not a better cook, because I don't spend enough time in the kitchen.

However, even despite all of this, I forgive myself. And I believe that tomorrow is another day!

And if you want to know the truth, the real person who has made my life hell has been this little gold dude right here:

He taunts me with his glittery shine, makes me think that no purchase is too big, lures me into the stores, and makes me leave only when my arms can't hold any more bags. When he's in my hands, I feel free and loved and I don't see dollar signs because he's a card after all. Only later, when I check the mail, does my world come crushing down as I notice the damage I have done. That he has caused me.

Still. Despite all this, despite the fact that he puts me through hell, I forgive him and we make-up and we do it all over again. Making up is the best part, you know.

I guess it is just a love-hate relationship that I can't get out of.