What a difference a year makes...

One year ago, I was an emotional mess. Last year, my first born son, my baby boy, was starting kindergarten. I wrote about my feelings before and after.

On his first day of school, as he walked away from me, holding his teacher's hand, I cried. A lot. In front of other moms, while holding my baby boy, I was a sobbing mess and I couldn't stop crying.

I couldn't believe my child was starting school. He was officially a big boy, a big boy who had just entered a whole new world—an exciting world, filled with so many new experiences.

Your school years, from the first year to the last year, are filled with vivid memories, both good and bad. I remember things so clearly, from grade school to Univeristy. The smells, the people, the experiences, the excitement. Friends, detention, homework, dances, track and field, first crushes, first everything. School is where everything happens, where best friends are made, where your heart breaks for the first time, where your world crashes down on you, where you gain confidence and where you do a LOT of growing up.

Now my role had officially shifted, from student to 'mother'. I was going to be the person who would be waiting at home for her child to come running through the front door with stories of excitement, with tears, with questions, and with (God help me) math homework. Would I be strong enough?

When I picked my son up from his first day of school, he was smiling and he ran towards me. I was glad to hear his first day went so well, and from that day on, things kept getting better and better. I wrote about the changes I saw in him. I wrote about his happiness about going to school, and how happy that made me. His first year in school went by very quickly. And on his last day of junior kindergarten , I cried again.

Last year, this was our conversation on the drive to school:

C: "So, you're going to leave me at school. But you'll be back."

Me: "Exactly, sweetie. I'll be back before you know it, and you'll do great - you'll love it so much, you have a great teacher, and you probably won't even want to leave!"

C: "So when you leave me at school, you're just going to go buy some soap, right? You're just going to go buy some soap for the dishwasher, and then come pick me up?"

Me: "I'll be back, don't worry at all!"

On Tuesday, he starts school again. I know there will be no fear, and no questions asked, this time. He's not exactly thrilled that summer is over, because his days of swimming and eating watermelon all day will be replaced with more structure and routine, but he's glad to be going back to his teacher, and to his friends.

I am excited for his second year of kindergarten. I hope he does amazing, I hope he learns, I hope he soars, I hope he laughs and I hope he runs back into my arms at the end of the day so I can hug him tight and tell him how proud I am of him... every day.
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OHmommy said...

Bitter sweet Lou. I'm sure he will do great.

Alicia said...

Ohhhh, I can't even imagine how hard it would be to drop your first born off at kindergarten! I would be sobbing right there with you! It is evident that you love your children very much and want the bestbfor them!!! Too and there are not more mommies out there like you!!!

Elaine A. said...

Oh girl, he's gonna have another great year I'm sure!

I love the line about just going to buy some soap - that is too cute!! :)

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

oh, it is so sad, isn't it!?!? I am crying at my boys too!

CaraBee said...

Just going to buy soap. Too funny!

I'm scared as hell about my daughter's first day of school. It's a couple of years off, but I KNOW I'm going to be a mess.

Anonymous said...

I have no doubts that he won't do amazing!! -And have a ton of fun !:)

Avitable said...

I bet he'll be awesome! Pretty soon, he won't be able to wait until he can get out of the house. :)

Elizabeth said...

My son is only 3 months old and I know time will fly and I will be right there where you are now. Half of me is not looking forward to it, but the other half of me cannot wait to embark this journey with him.

Pres. Kathy said...

I hope he has a wonderful year!!!

Jessica said...

Hugs! I will be the same way, crying when my little man starts school. Thankfully, he's only 2 but still...I know how fast time goes! He was just born yesterday and I was gazing into his eyes for the first time and now he's a tantrum throwing 2 year old!

Good luck! Hopefully once you get adjusted to the new routine, things will start feeling happy.

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

Stella started kindergarten this year. And I'm a bit of a wreck. She has been my constant companion, through both moves, while rediscovering Zurich, while finding fun things to do, going to museums, brunches, book swaps, shopping, she was always with me.

So I hear you, babe!

Ashley said...

"You're just going to buys some soap, right?" How cute is that?

Nikosmommy said...

My first is starting Kindergarten today!! It's hard to wrap my mind around it...but we are definitely starting a new chapter in our parenting lives!!!

Nenette AM said...

Oh, hon, I'm sure he did fab! :)

Both of mine started school today, Grade 3 and Grade 1. No more preschool! The house was so quiet. I was so sad. This will take some getting used to. xo