Mommy guilt. We all experience it. For some moms, like myself, it can be overwhelming at times.
I feel guilty when I'm out having a good time without my children. I refuse to go on any tropical vacation without my children - I can't imagine being somewhere sunny, lounging around a pool, without my kids there. If I saw other children having fun, and my kids weren't there? I'd break down in tears.
I have mommy guilt when I take my youngest son to the park without my oldest son. I feel like my other child is missing out on the fun, even though he may be having his own fun at a birthday party, or swimming, or whatever.
A few days ago, I took the boys to see the ice sculptures at Winterlude, even though I knew that after a full and fun day for our 4 year old - swimming lessons, lunch at his grandparent's house, and playing with his cousins all afternoon - going to see the ice sculptures at 4 p.m. was not the best idea, because he'd probably fall asleep in the car. And fall asleep he did. I felt so guilty that he didn't get a chance to see the ice sculptures!
All the time.
In 4 years, I have only been apart from my children for a maximum of 24 hours. Twice. Twice, on a girls getaway weekend. Rather, a 24 hour getaway with girlfriends. A fun time, but at the same time? I felt guilty about leaving my children. Leaving my children in excellent hands, mind you, with their father, with my parents and inlaws, and with my grandparents.
And I worry! I worry that they'll miss me, that they'll cry for me, that they'll think I've abandoned them forever!
I really want to go to BlogHer this year. In fact, I am going. BlogHer is in New York City this August. In NEW YORK CITY! OH-MY-GOD-THE-SHOPPING-THE-CITY-TIMES-SQUARE-THE-SHOPPING-5TH-AVENUE! I haven't been to NYC in years... I love that city!
Most importantly - I'm going to get to meet some amazing people, some amazing bloggers, people I talk to everyday. Some I've met before, some I'll be meeting for the very first time. And I can't wait. I've also scored some amazing roomies, too.
I'll be gone for 2 nights. 3 Days. I need a serious pep talk, people. I need to hear that I am going to be okay without my kids for 2 nights. That we'll all get through it just fine. That my children will still love me and not be mad at me.
I need to be able to fall asleep at night and not think about how much I'm going to miss my boys for the two days I'll be away from them. I need to not feel so guilty about BlogHer.
Because it's totally going to be worth it, right?
I'm also blogging at Canada Moms Blog today... check it out!