This week I have had the opportunity to read some excellent blog posts about motherhood, courtesy of Jill from Scary Mommy, because she is holding a Scary Mommy contest, (the winner gets to have their post on the Motherhood website, under Eliza's blog - you know, Uma's character in the movie? Sweet! And? A flip video camera!) The entries have been incredible to read through - and I have also loved all the comments my post has received... thank you!
In keeping with excellent writing assignments this week, the lovely Mama Kat is having a contest of her own, and has posed the question: How has Motherhood changed you?
How has Motherhood changed me? It has changed me in ways I never thought possible. It changes me everyday. Life for me in certainly not the same as it was before becoming a mom. The most obvious change has been the incredible amount of love I have for my children. Never a second goes by that they are not in my thoughts, when I'm not with them; and when I'm with them, I can't get enough of looking at them, hugging and kissing them, and telling them how much I love them. I sometimes sit back and am amazed that I created these perfect little boys - boys with smiles that melt my heart, boys with strong and funny personalities, boys who are, well... mine.
Besides all the wonderful and joyful moments that come with motherhood - there is another side too, a side filled with worry and fear that no one can possibly relate to until they enter the crazy world of motherhood. It's probably the the thing I like least about being a mother - but it comes with the territory. It's a constant worry, a constant fear. I once said that the only time I will stop worrying about my children is when I pass away. Even then... doubtful. It is time consuming, and even if I'm out with friends having a good time, my children are always in my thoughts. You can also feel on a deeper level - I feel connected to other mothers, and their problems, although not my own, are felt deeply. I cry at commercials more often. I'm am emotional wreck, most of the time.
How else how motherhood changed me? I am more responsible. There is no room for error here - I can't screw this up. Not in a major way, anyway. I'm the pilot, the captain, the air traffic controller. I must be 'on' 24 hours a day. No calling in sick, folks. Motherhood is the real deal. You don't get a day off. Sure, you can get a weekend away with friends, or you can go to work for a few hours a day, but you're still 'on' - phoning home, shopping for your children, planning the week ahead. It's a full-time job! I'm changed because before becoming a mom my responsibilities were not as important.
Motherhood has also made me realize the value of time. You know how in the army they do more before 6 a.m. than most people do in a day? Well, the same is true for motherhood! It is truly a phenomena how MUCH we get done as mothers every single day. We wake up early, get ourselves and our children ready, feed everyone breakfast, get everyone dressed, break up fights, play with our children, prepare snacks and lunch, take them to school, or to the museum, change a few diapers, clean up, pick the children up from school, play, do crafts, prepare dinner, break up another fight, clean the house, put away laundry, feed everyone dinner, clean up, bathe the children, read books, and put the kids to bed. At the end of the night, I'm exhausted! Remember when you used to complain about being tired before having children? That is such a joke now. Really. I remember those days well. Staying up all night studying and being tired the next day? Nothing in comparison to when a mom is tired. We can't just nap if we want to. We have to be cheerful! all! the! time!
Motherhood has changed my views on things, too. I used to complain about the city I lived in because it wasn't that exciting. Now, as a mother, I see the value of living in a city that has plenty for children to do, has an amazing children's hospital, beautiful parks and museusm, and wonderful schools.I feel safe here. Now, instead of complaining, I am thankful about where I live.
Motherhood has also made me a more patient person. A person who can be on time. A person who can looked pulled together on a maximum of 4 hours sleep - broken sleep, I might add. A person who can mult-task like never before. I am a diaper-changing, nose-wiping, boo-boo kissing champion, a milk pouring, potty-training, clothes changing, laundry folding expert. I am a human vacuum cleaner. I have become fascinated by constuction sites and value the work construction workers do. I know the difference between an excavator, a bulldozer and a front-end loader. And trust me, I am put in my place if I get it wrong! I protect and teach and guide my children, I show them right from wrong, and I am their favourite playmate.
Motherhood has ultimately made me a stronger and more capable person. I feel like an accomplished person because I am a mother. The greatest joy of all!