Monday, October 26, 2009

When doing it solo makes more sense

Sometimes, certain things are better enjoyed alone, even though they can also be enjoyed with a partner. Or even with multiple people at the same time. And while it can be very pleasurable when you do it as a threesome, or a duo, there is something to be said for doing it alone. When you do it alone, you will almost always have a happy ending. You know what you want and what you like. You don't have to do anything but the task at hand, and you can do it as quick as you like or you can take your sweet time, if that's your thing. You can fantasize and you can leave all your troubles at the door.

Of course, I'm talking about shopping.

When you go shopping, do you prefer to be alone, with your husband/significant other or with your friends?

To be honest - I love shopping solo. I get the most satisfaction and 'bang for my buck', so to speak, when I'm alone. I don't have to talk to anyone, I don't have to go into stores I don't want to go into, I don't have to wait to tell my friends they look good in what they're trying on, and I don't have to have a panic attack if I see my friend pick up the shirt that I was going to buy but damn it it's in her hands and now I can't say I want that shirt, too and I hope it looks terrible on her so I can buy it type of panic attack. Because that sucks.

When I'm shopping alone, I don't have to feel guilty about spending money on items I don't need. Tell me, is there anything more annoying than shopping with someone whose only goal is to make you feel bad about the experience? I often go shopping with my little sister, who is 6 years younger than me but also somehow more practical about things like shopping. (Even though she has a dozen pairs of designer jeans, and several pairs of UGGS, but I digress...) When I shop with my sister, this is what typically happens:

"Loukia? Why are you holding that black shirt? How many black shirts do you have? You don't need another black shirt. I thought you wanted to renovate your kitchen?"

"But, Gina... I don't have a shirt like this..."

"Yes you do. How many black shirts do you need? You're ridiculous."

Sigh. "Fine."

"Oh, my God, put that sweater down, it's ugly."

"Gina, but I love it!"

"Eww, really? I'm telling mom. You shop way too much!"

"Look, this is an awesome brown sweater and I'm totally buying it because it will go with my new brown boots and this way, I will have to wear the boots more often and it will be worth the money I spent on them if I buy more clothes to wear with them."

"Loukia. Look at what you're wearing right now. A brown sweater. You don't need another brown sweater. Seriously, no wonder you complain you never have any money..."

"I love this sweater, Gina! It's not the same shade of brown!"

"Fine. Buy it. You're just buying it for the sake of buying something."

I buy the shirt. I feel terrible about it, but I buy the stupid shirt.

Moving on, we enter a toy store. I see 2 cute trucks that I think would be great for my boys for Christmas.

"Oh, look, I'm totally buying these, so I can give them to Christos and Dimitry from eachother for Christmas!"

"Loukia. It's October. You have a shopping addiction and you need therapy."

"Therapy costs money, and I don't have enough money, remember?"

I buy the trucks.

And I remind myself to avoid bringing my little practical sister shopping with me again. Because that was a ruined shopping experience. Talk about unhappy ending! I got what I wanted, but it came at a price, and it wasn't the most enjoyable way to spend money. I hate having to justify my purchases.

Makes me want a refund on the whole experience. Next time, I'm doing it alone. It's always a better time and I always leave a satisfied customer!

40 comments:

Lesley said...

LOVE this...it is soooo true...I never end up accomplishing what I want when I shop with others...plus I find it so theraputic....taking some time for me...now there's a thought....

Eve said...

Aman!

I as well am a MUCH better solo shopper. I very rarely shop with friends because I find I am always self conscious that they are bored or want to go to a different shop or don't want to wait until I finishing trying something on. etc. etc. (I am conscious of this because this is how I feel!)

I can shop with my husband but only if our funds are healthy and we're "out to spend" so to speak. Other wise I feel guilty if anything is over a fiver.

Shopping on my own is bliss. And I've got it down to a find art!

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

I totally hate shopping with other people ( unless its my husband on pay day cuz he it totally generous... ) LOL

Chrissy MacCEO said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE this post....and I could not agree more---I LOVE shopping solo.

Anonymous said...

YES! I love to "do-it" alone. Time is money, and when you are able to shop alone you save time becz you don't need to accept other's opinions. And save money becz you can concentrate on the clearance/bargain racks.

LZ @ My Messy Paradise said...

I have to shop alone...If I go with friends, I never feel like I can go everywhere I want. With DH? forget it. One store and he's done.

skichik79 said...

totally prefer solo. Friends don't always have the same mission as you or interest even though they might like your style it might not be their style so they don't like the same stores ... alone you can cover more areas and come and go as you please ... try on as much as you like without having to worry if our making them wait ... I do enjoy going shopping with friends wen i know im not shopping for me and just tagging along with them. I love to give my 2 cents ... if something looks horrible on someone i won't lie and say lokks GREAT !! I will definitly say that it makes them look fat or whatever coz some clothes do make a person look fatter or slimmer .. and I want people to tell me when that is the case ... I recently purchased a sweater that im sure to my friends looked horrible and they said it looked good and I bought it and got home and hate it makes me look HUGE ! but I can't return it... bummer :P

so yeah thats that ... I hear you on the solo thing !

btw did yu get my comment about the printing your blog ?

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I prefer shopping alone also. My worst buyers remorse is always a result of having listened to someone elses opinion or taste.

It's so theraputic to go ALONE!

Connie Weiss said...

I love shopping with my sister! She has the best style and give the best advice.

I would rather shops with her than alone.

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

LOL I totally saw a few of my friends here.
I can shop with exactly 2 of my friends--the rest are just no fun ;)

Thena said...

Alone is okay. But shopping with my daughters is awesome.

Chelle said...

Oh, I so agree!! Shopping alone is wonderful!

And honestly? It's kind of my therapy. Quietness. No screaming. Nobody rushing me. Nobody sighing that I'm taking too long...just me and the smell of new clothes/shoes. Love it.

Gina said...

I am a great person to go shopping with. IF you dont already own 17 black sweaters, 14 brown turtlenecks, 11 boot cut jeans, 5 cashmere cardigans, 4 zip up boots, 3 fendi's, countless louis, oh and complain about wanting to remodel your kitchen and painting your house every day.

Each $25 shirt by now- you would have a whole new house

- the really fun shopper :)

Chantal said...

When I am in the mood to shop, I must do it alone. It doesn't happen often and I need to focus! :)

Lady Mama said...

I definitely, without doubt, prefer shopping alone to shopping with other people. Everything you said is so true. Shopping with other people drives me nuts! Great post. :)

HaB said...

For sure...I am a shop on my own type of person!

2 Little Irish Boys said...

Right on, sista!!
Everytime I take some one shopping with me I tell myself it isn't gonna happen again. Then of course I do it again!!
Solo is much better!

Suzanne said...

OMG, this was HILARIOUS - you totally sound like your sister! Like you, I definitely prefer shopping solo. I can't STAND being dragged into stores I don't want to go into. Awesome post, Lou!

CaraBee said...

I much prefer shopping on my own. Not so much because I worry they will stop me or criticize but just because I am speedier on my own. I can get in and go exactly where I want to go without dawdling in a bunch of places I don't. Selfish? Maybe, but I'm all about expedience.

jennster said...

LOL- i totally HAVE to shop alone. i don't like the distractions and people talk me out of shit and it pisses me off cause I KNOW what looks good on me dammit!!!! and i just like it better. i am on a mission and it's mine and not anyone else's.. you know?

the Preppy Princess said...

This is a classic Miss Loulou, your descriptions of things are priceless! And like you, we go solo if we are seriously looking for something, no frou-frou chitchat or other distractions!

Grins & Giggles for the week ahead,
tp

Elaine A. said...

I prefer to shop alone too, for the reasons you listed. Less guilt and no one to criticize! ; )

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I am lucky, because NOBODY will shop with me. They flat out refuse. It makes it much more pleasant for me in the end!
Maybe you and I could handle each other!

Rebecca said...

So great.

When I shop with others I think too much, don't want to try it on and take there time etc.

Alone, it's more relaxed and I don't feel the same pressure!

However, I do like to window shop with friends or help them spend their money!

Neena said...

I shop much better by myself. I can try things on numerous times, put thing back, and return to pick them up again - all without judgement!

A Crafty Mom said...

I *must* shop alone b/c I am too easily swayed by others' input, unfortunately. I usually am happier with my purchases when I do it on my own. Although I do love shopping with my sister, we have similar tastes and are both each others' cheerleaders - "hey you look great in that - buy it", "no YOU look great, buy it!". She lives out East so I don't get the chance to shop with her all that often!

Tiffany said...

lol!! I agree, but usually shop with someone to prevent blowing all of our money! lol Great post!

Kelly said...

I love shopping alone too so I don't have to wait for anyone else to try on clothes. I especially don't like going with my husband because he gets bored after about 2 minutes

Brittany at Mommy Words said...

I only like to shop by myself. I can't stand the commentary and it is so nice to have alone time doing anything these days! And I agree with Eve - there is no guilt by yourself over going to the stores somebody else wants to or commenting on their purchase. ALONE!

The Crazy Baby Mama said...

I left an award for you over at The Crazy Baby Mama

Theta Mom said...

Sooooo true!!! For me, I shop best SOLO!

kys said...

I feel the same way. I only have one friend that I can shop with and she lives 6 hours away. Most of the time, I'm on my own.

Came over here from The Crazy Baby Mama. I'm your newest follower.

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

i am totally with you - i have to shop alone b/c a) i know what i like and i don't need anyone to back me up and b) i hate looking at the crap they want to buy

lone shoppers rock!

found you from crazy baby mama

Parent Club said...

Absolutely agree. I hate having to wait for other people while they shop (and secretly think other people hate waiting for me when I shop).

Nope - better to go solo.

Jessica said...

I only shop alone for these exact reasons! The last time I shopped with a girlfriend (and it was an accident, I happened to see her at anthropologie) she "made" me buy 3 dresses. and belts. Anyway, more than anything, it's like you said, I know what I need and want, and I'm going to get them. Preferrably SANS the grief. there is NOTHING like retail therapy!

Shannon @ AnchorMommy said...

Hee hee! This is so funny! I have to shop alone. No question. Then I'm free to agonize and second guess myself on every single purchase. No one I know could stand to be around me during the process. Heck, I can barely stand it. And shopping with my boy? No WAY. Oh how I miss the days he would just snooze in the stroller while I flipped through the racks...

Smart A$$ Mom said...

I always think I want to share a great shopping day with friends, but in truth I enjoy it the most alone. It is one of the very few things I truly enjoy alone. I have one girlfriend, ONE who I can shop with and have a great time. She lives in Texas though...

Mercy said...

Must always shop alone...though I usually have the children along as there is no one to leave them with. Never, ever shop with my husband. He wants to be in and out of the store in 20 minutes, saying that is all the time shopping takes. Ha.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I far prefer shopping alone. I'm a power shopper and I don't like being held back by anyone who isn't on the same page. Plus I know what I like and what I don't like and I really don't need advice from others when I shop. SOMETIMES I'll consult a sales person about sizing - but I really don't care if my friend thinks that green looks better on me than blue. I already know what I think.

But I also love being by myself - so I may not have the most unbiased opinion on this subject...

Pres. Kathy said...

I love shopping!! Going with my little guy, who is 2, is fun but I can't really shop. Whenever I get a chance to go alone, which is not very often, I feel like I can get so much accomplished.

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