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I'm one very "Scary Mommy"

The fabulous Jill from Scary Mommy is having a contest to find someone else who fits the descption of 'Scary Mommy'. What is a 'Scary Mommy', you ask? Well, according to Jill, it is the definition of the anti-perfect mommy. The mom who loves her children more than anything else in the entire universe, but well, lacks something called 'perfection.'

I'm one heck of a "Scary Mommy".

I woke up to the sound of two boys calling for me: "Mama! Mommy! Mommy! Mama!" I glance to my left, and my youngest son is looking at me with a big smile. I look up at the clock - 7 a.m. "Damn it," I uttered under my breath. Yet another day that I forgot to get up before the children to get things - and me - ready before our day begins. I pick up my baby, and go to his big brother's room, where I try to get them ready for the day ahead. I've grown accustomed to showering in 5 minutes while my baby plays with things like tampons and floss on the floor in my bathroom. And I tell myself, yet again, that one of these days, I'll become 'that mom' - the one who rises before her children, showers in peace, prepares breakfast, does a load of laundry and works out - all before her children get up. However, I know in my heart that's a very unlikely scenario. I'm just too tired!

I love my children more than anything else on earth, but I'm far from perfect. I swear in front of my children. I yell too much. I sometimes rely on the television to entertain my kids so I can finish the housework. I've left the house with a messy ponytail in my hair. I do things I'm not proud of, things that make me a 'Scary Mommy'.



While there is nothing I enjoy more than being with my children, I have been known to take the easy route many times to avoid total meltdowns when we're out in public. For instance, if we are in a toy store, and my boys are filling the cart with items they want to buy, I will generally buy them whatever their little hearts desire. Why? Not because we need another bulldozer or two or three in the house, but because if I say 'no', they will be heartbroken, they will love me less (at least for the time being) and they will cry. Or lay on the ground and scream and kick and yell. Or all of the above. To avoid this, I do what any 'not perfect' mom would do - I give in. And we all leave happy.

I have also been known to let my boys raid the 'junk food' drawer at home right before bedtime. If they want to eat Dunkaroos, so be it. Orange frosting and cookies as a snack before bedtime makes them happy, and I'm okay with that. No perfect mom would allow these types of snacks to even enter her house!



If I need a few more minute online, I will give my youngest son a chocolate pudding and let him eat it by himself. He's very independent, you know. And the mess? Oh, the mess! I bet no perfect mother has to deal with this type of high chair clean-up, right? But see... I'm no perfect mom. Chocolate pudding allows me time on the Internet!



My children are also very familiar with Starbucks. In fact, I can bet large sums of money that both my children were saying 'Starbucks' around the same time they learned how to say 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'. And sometimes, they'll even have a sip or two of my warm beverage. But often times, I'll buy them their own kid's hot chocolate. While other 'perfect' moms might think this is not a good idea, I love it - and so do they.



If we are out of town, a stop at Krispy Kreme is always in order, too. Who doesn't enjoy sinking their teeth into a warm donut? A donut that has too many grams of fat and too many calories to even mention here, but hey - I'm a 'Scary Mommy', remember? And I let my children indulge in food other 'perfect' moms try to avoid!



My children are also not the most well-behaved when out in public. I, as their mother, even let them to play 'bookstore' when we're in book stores... they have fun, even though they make a huge mess. Allowing them to do whatever they want makes things easier for me. I pick my battles. I have enough on my plate already!



And I always manage to snap a picture of one of my children when they're crying, instead of trying to console them, because there is nothing more cute than a picture of a crying baby who is getting a haircut! Unless, of course, you're a 'perfect mom', and therefore, would probably not even think of taking a picture like this.



I sometimes allow my children to do dangerous things, too, because I know they'll be really happy. Like the time we got really close to a construction site and I let my son sit on a huge bulldozer. Just look at that smile... something a 'perfect mom' wound never allow!



I have done some pretty incredible things since becoming a mom. I rarely say no, I am not good at sticking to the rules I try to enforce, I complain almost as much as my children, I hide the last chocolate so I can eat it, and I have let my boys go days without taking a bath. Sometimes, there is just not enough time in the day! The same pajamas might be worn two nights in a row. Nothing in the house of 'off-limits'. Except the alcohol cabinet.

There was a time where my oldest son refused to take a bath. We had to think of some really creative ways to get him into the tub - like letting him take a container of whipped cream into the bathtub with him. He did this for months. He would eat whipped cream, I would wash his hair. Then we moved on to food colouring, where he would take a bath in blue and green water. Hey - this 'Scary Mommy' has tried it all - and no matter how ridiculous it might sound to you, these things have worked for me.

And while other children's moms will always bring an extra change of clothes with them in case their children get really dirty, I let my little ones run around with candy apple stains all over them.



I let my boys help in the grocery store, too. Which means letting them loose in the fruit and vegetable aisle, where they always manage to pull the plastic bags out a bit too much...



I also let my children sit and play in the kitchen sink. Sometimes, I'll even feed them while they're playing in the sink. As a distraction. And it works.



I'm a 'Scary Mommy' - a mommy who loves her boys so much it is actually... well, scary. And all these little things I don't do perfectly? I do them with love. I'd rather be a 'Scary Mommy', anyway.

Comments

I'm also a scary mommy! Quite the group, aren't we!?
Lady Mama said…
Cute post! The one thing that comes across is that you really enjoy your kids and you seem to always have a lot fun with them. Imagine how boring it must be to be a perfect mum anyway! Love the photos.
skichik79 said…
love that you take the pictures of them doing all these things hahaa !! to cute go you !
Unknown said…
I love this post! I am a total scary mommy as well! You are an amazing mom Lou...Love ya! xoxo
Theta Mom said…
I think you are a scary mommy! Good luck on the contest, you should win with such an awesome post filled with pictures! BTW, how good is Krispy Kreme? Wish we had one of thse here! Good luck girl!
Nena said…
I think that we are all scary mommy's in our own way, but I absolutely love how you havce told your story and documented. I had to laugh throughout, because I too, pretty much never say no to my 3 yo DS in fear of meltdowns and tantrums as well. Good job to all the scary mommy's out there.
Scary is so much more fun than perfect!
Shana said…
Love this! Scary Mommies are the BEST!
Chantal said…
haha, see we are all in the same boat. I could make a list too. :)
Such a cute post. I'd love to participate but honestly, someone would call the authorities over my lameness. :)
Christy said…
You are hysterical! I hope you win this contest - you definitely deserve it! In a good way, of course!
Tiffany said…
I actually bought my four year old daughter her first pumpkin spice latte' this fall. I guess I'm not a perfect mom! lol
Stephanie said…
You sound like a REAL Mommy to me. (I took a pic of my babe getting her ears pierced..tears and all) Guess I'm a Scary Momyh too!
Unknown said…
Us Scary Mommies? We are so much more FUN!

I love this post, Loukia! And to me? You sound like an amazing mother--a fun, loving mom who knows that they won't stay little for long so why not let them enjoy being a kid!

Good luck--my fingers are crossed for you! xoxo
Jennifer said…
mmmmmm, hot donuts. I think I have a little Homer Simpson slobber thing going on.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Jessica said…
It's true: you ARE a fun mom. I love your passion for motherhood and for your boys. There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to make them act like adults yet. Let them dive head first into their pudding cups and unravel your tampons! It's the only time in their life it'll be cute!! hahaha
Jessica said…
You know what's funny? You're one of those mommy's that I just assume is "perfect"! Obvs no one is "perfect" but there are those that you just assume are damn close to it!
The best part of this post was getting the general feeling that you love and adore those little boys to death. They are lucky to have a "Scary Mommy" ;)

xo
Connie said…
That is great! I do many of those things. My daughter LOVES coffee!
You sound like a good/fun mommy to me :)
Jen said…
Oh you are so scary. ;) Nice post.
Mom2Miles said…
You sound like a FUN mommy, not a scary mommy! I love that you have pics of all their shenanigans. Priceless!
Yum... Starbucks and donuts... I am coming to visit!!
Betsy Mae said…
You're a GREAY scary mommy! Cute post. I guess I'm a bit of a scary mommy too...and I also wear it proudly! Good for you!
You are too funny! And, what mom can't say they weren't in the same boat!! (But, side note...I see how you blow the budget...who can resist those little faces)!

And, I love that you have photographic evidence for all of it.
This was thorough! And scary enough - I can relate to quite a bit of it...
I love this! We could be really good friends for sure!!!
MamaJoss said…
You are a GREAT Mommy...feed them while they are in the sink...nice trick! I'll have to remember that one :) You crack me up....loved all these photos LOL
Anonymous said…
Hey, will you be my mom? I won't be much trouble, as long as you keep the Dunkaroos coming. ;)
Oh, I'm a scary mommy too! My kids are also familiar with Starbucks. They always get their "kid's 90degree hot chocolate". It is a very special destination especially for my son, who uses my laptop when we're there.

I love the pictures, especially the first one with you and the boys. You can feel the love and the chaos... the rolling clouds above and mommy and kids below. Very cool. :)
Janna said…
I love the candy apples stains! I have the same problem:)
Cristin said…
You had me at; "I swear in front of my children". I just love me some potty mouth.
Scary Mommy said…
Oh, I love you for this post. Even more than I did before, if that's at all possible.

I just let my boys eat sprinkles straight from the cake decorating box just so I could talk on the phone in peace! And Starbucks? There is one in my grocery store and we cannot shop without all getting our drinks. :)
leigh hewett said…
Will you be my Scary Mommy? I lurve your Blog and I'm following it now! Thanks for stopping by Leigh vs Laundry and reading my entry.

XO
Leigh
CaraBee said…
So when you bathed him in food coloring, did it color his skin? Because I've totally thought about doing that, but I was afraid I'd have an Oompa Loompa on my hands.
I am so laughing at you and at me!
We are the same type of MOMMY!
Do you know my 3 1/2 yr old can order my Starbucks--"no whip, please"!
I sneak chocolate in my mouth in the car and turn my head to pretend looking out the window, they are also sometimes really dirty-that is why I like summer--swimming counts as a bath around here!
Being a scary mommy is FUN, FUN, FUN!!
Cynthia said…
I'm thinking I'm a Scary Mommy as well. It's a good group;)
anymommy said…
Um, my children are very familiar with Starbucks as well. Sigh. I fully expect them to have a favorite drink with five adjectives by the time they are five.
Erin said…
Oh I wish my oldest would drink the hot chocolate....now the donuts he would love....anything sweet for him and call it a day he's happy as a lark!
He he... this made me laugh so much... some of the pictures were great too! SC knows all the staff in Caffe Nero and will often shout her order across the room for a "Babycinno please but not too much foam"! Little wotsit! And as for the mummies who get up before they're kids and work out? Do they really exist? I guess so but Im not one... that extra five minutes with the snooze button is so nice!
Deb said…
-->Cute post. I approach things differently but then again, we have to do what works for us with our kids. We can all be scary in our own way!

www.WebSavyMom.com
Loukia said…
Thank you so much everyone!!!! It's nice to know that we are all 'Scary Mommies' - we have to do what we have to do, right? :) Thanks again for your awesome comments!
Unknown said…
LOL.. you are rotten... ok you win!

Just kidding, your boys are BEAUTIFUL! Great blog!
MamaOtwins+1 said…
I love reading about all the scary Mommies!!! I think the eating pudding pic is my fav - because I've done that a time or two!
McMommy said…
I LOVE YOUR HONESTY!!!! The pics to go along were fun too!
Sarah said…
I don't' know... your hair, makeup, and outfits look way too good to be that scary! The people at my neighborhood grocery store probably think I only own one sweatshirt and one pair of track pants. :)
Too funny. You are a child's dream mommy!
Unknown said…
They're going to be living with you when they're 40 you know because they have it SO good! hee hee... Hope you like their wives! :D

I tease... I hope. ;-P

The picture in the grocery store totally cracks me up!
Anna-b-bonkers said…
I almost cried and I did laugh. I never thought of all these things at one time before but every single one of them are things I have done with my kids, right down to the starbucks and groceries. Yup all of em...ooo, except we don't have crispy cream here but I have been know to hit the two donut joints we do have!
And I take pictures of it all too....cause I love em in every stinking moment and don't want to forget any of it!!!

Great post!
Anonymous said…
Love this!!! You described me to a "T"!! HAhahahah...Im always the one who "gives in" or according to other people Im "weak"....but oh well my kids are happy being kids and I guess that makes me a "scary mommy" too...LOL