Friday, October 2, 2009

Communication breakdown

Information I have learned from my son about school:

"I love school!"

Information my husband has learned from my son about school:

"I have a 'girl' friend."

"I was the friend of the day yesterday, and I got to hold the flag!"

"We went to the gym today, but we didn't do anything except sit down and stand up to sing O Canada and even the big kids were in the gym and then we went back to our classroom."

"There is a time out chair and I have never had to sit in it, but another boy sits in it all the time"

"I have used the bathroom a few times."

"I worked on my tree craft today."


Yeah... so. I guess I am happy that he is loving kindergarten, but I really would love it if my son told ME all this other stuff! I need a new communication strategy to get him to be more vocal with me!

Any tips, moms?

29 comments:

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

OK yea Lou... good luck with this one... My kids very rarely talk to me about their days. Sometimes if something really fun happened they will but most of the time its : How was your day?" "Good" and thats all...

ModernMom said...

I found in JK I had to ask very specific questions. Like who did you play with today. What books did you read. Did you have gym? What did you do in gym? Seems to help them remember that they actually packed a whole lot into that wee day!

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I actually wrote a post about this topic awhile back. I try and make a game out of my interogations. Questions such as:

What was the most fun thing in school today?
What was the least fun?
Was anyone bad in school today?
What was your favorite subject today?

You get the point. Try and avoid questions that can be answered with a yes or no. And try and ask them when he is least distracted. I find that bath time works best in my house.

Sherry said...

Aren't kids grand? You never know what they will say, when they will say it and who they will say it to..

How about.. Tell me all about your day at school.. What did you do today at school? Have him elaborate on the little things.

Be careful though... My son is 22 and still elaborates on the little things I really don't need to know.

Loukia said...

I just have to face it - he talks to his dad more than me sometimes! ;) Thanks for the question suggestions... I have tried some of those!

Chrissy MacCEO said...

I am right there with ya! I just wish he was such a momma's boy that he wanted to run home and tell ME everything ;)

Chantal said...

I wish I could help you. My oldest never told us ANYTHING. Not me, not my husband. My youngest is an open book. No idea why.

2 Little Irish Boys said...

I can totally relate. Cash hardly tells me anything it come in spurts! I tried to do "I will tell you 3 things about my day and then you tell me 3 things about yours" only thing I really got was we ate lunch-duh!

Scattered Mom said...

Jake never talked about school much. I ended up asking specific questions, or make it a game where he'd get to ask me a question, then I'd ask him one.

Sometimes I'd ask what his favorite center is and why, or if he has a special friend, etc.

Quirkymom said...

I make something up, like "how was playing with the kitchen at school today?" Then he will stop and think and say, "I didn't play with the kitchen." and then I say, "oh, yeah, today you went to the library" and he will say, "no today, we throwed up and down bean bags in the gym."

I also ask specific prompts, who sat beside you at snack today. What station did you work at today? Did you play on the structure today? If your teacher sends home notes about the books they read, then you can ask "what did that crazy pigeon do today? Did he drive the bus again?"

Annie @ PhD in Parenting said...

I highly recommend the book "How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will talk". You can find it on my Parenting Library page:

http://www.phdinparenting.com/my-parenting-library/

Mia said...

Haha, same thing happens at my house with my 3 year old daughter after pre-school. On the other hand, my 12 year doesn't TAKE A BREATH about the he-said, she said- goings on at school...so maybe it's an age thing?!!

Chandra said...

Yep, you'll always have to instigate the conversation otherwise they won't tell you a darn thing worth mentioning...in the case of my 3 yrd old "what did you do today" and the response EVERYSINGLE time is "I learned the ABC's"...my 7 yr old is to busy playing the Wii and conveniently "forgets"...that's why I love the weekly newsletters we get via email..I ALWAYS know!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Well - I can't speak from experience since I'd be thrilled for my son to be able to have a conversation like that with ANYBODY. BUT I do think that what everyone else is saying about how you have to ask all of the specific questions sounds pretty right on when it comes to kids. If you get a piece of information out of him on Monday, then follow up with an update question on Tuesday.

So glad to hear he loves school. That always warms my heart!

Sophie said...

Hi Lou! I am leaving a comment, take one!! Here we go... Great blog!! :)

Loukia said...

Haha! Thank you Sophie! I appreciate it! Let's get together soon. I want to see baby Bella again!

Jennifer said...

So cute! My son loves to tell me what they had for snack at preschool and that Matthew got in trouble again (I'll have to meet this kid sometime!).

Leslie said...

Loukia, I love your blogs :)
Your little ones are adorable. I don't have children of my own, but your stories of your babes pull on my heart strings!

One day, your son will just blurt out everything & more I'm sure!

Have a lovely evening :)
Leslie (aka @BPOrleans)

April @ Musings of a Mommy said...

Yeah, I wish I had some advice. The only thing my 3 year old will tell me about school is, "I played." Sooo informative! ;)

CaraBee said...

I wish I had advice for you, we're not so good on the communication around here.

Jack said...

I usually ask two specific questions and then let it go. Slowly but surely the kids fill me in.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

Questions like 'Who did you sit next to at lunch?' 'Who.what did you play at recess?' 'What project are you doing in art?' Etc. I find 'Who is the worst/best in class' gets them going and of course 'what is the funniest thing that happened today?'

Sandra said...

After 3 kids I learned never to ask anything when they just walk in the door! I let them get their snack, play or watch TV and once they've had a bread from school (usually at the supper table) we ask "What was the best thing about their day at schoo?". They love to tell you when they have an audience and if it hasn't been great they tell you too! We usually take turns talkig about our day-all of us! Very "Leave it to Beaver" but it works for us!

Betsy Mae said...

I don't really have any advice for you. I have one who doesn't tell me anything and another who tells me every last detail!

I think that ModernMom is right though, specific questions get the conversations going a littlemore easily. Also, I find after story time at bedtime I can get both girls chatting about things.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Know how you feel. Elijah? Hasn't learned anything in the last 2 years if you ask him. Men!

Shannon @ AnchorMommy said...

Awww...how cute! Too bad you're not getting the details like your husband is, but it's clear he is loving school!

Beth Dunn said...

NONE. My sons does not say anything to me.

xoxox

SC

Mom2Miles said...

I just found out from my son's pre-K teacher that he, uh, "relieved himself" on the fence during gym class! Of course, he didn't mention a WORD about it to me!! Oh, well, future blog material, I guess.

Nap Warden said...

It's the other way around in my house. Poor Husband can't get anything out of Miss Peach:(

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