I can be a control freak sometimes.
Okay, most of the time.
Fine. All of the time.
My friends all know this about me, and yet, they still love me. Thank you, friends!
I like to get my way. I want things to go my way, all the time. I want to go wherever I say, I want to eat what I'm craving, I want to shop where I like, and I want people to always agree with everything I say. I love having heated discussions about things, and I love trying to influence people to see my side of the story. I want people to agree with me.
I can get annoyed if someone doesn't like the same shows I watch. Or shop where I like to shop. And I will never understand how someone doesn't enjoy eating pizza. Or how someone can vote for a different political party than me.
Sometimes I like to control other people's lives, as well. Like my sister's. For instance, if she were to tell me she was going to watch the new Jennifer Aniston movie I'd get mad at her and tell her she is wasting her money and time because practically no movie that Jennifer Aniston is in is any good, and then I'd tell her which movies are out right now that are worth seeing. Seeing how I don't get to go to the movies as often as I used to before I became a mom, I get really sensitive when she wastes her time watching something that wouldn't be as good as something else, you know? Oh, this doesn't happen to you? Oh.
My issues run deep.
I sometimes wish I could also go up to complete strangers to offer them nice suggestions and advice.
Like about what they're wearing, and how they can improve their look. I would love to be able to go up to a girl who is wearing a skirt the size of a... hand towel and tell her that she'd look more respectable, and still sexy, if the skirt was a bit longer.
Another thing that irritates me is when I see a child in an uncomfortable situation.
I hate seeing babies in shopping centres who are dressed in full snowsuits sitting in strollers looking extremely hot. I wish I could go up to their mom, without sounding crazy, to tell her she should undress her child. I know the hassle of getting a child dressed in a snowsuit - it's no fun - but I would never keep my children's coats on while shopping - unless, of course, we were in and out of the store in like, 5 minutes. I feel so bad for these overheated babies and toddlers! Please, moms, take off their coats and snowpants when you're in a hot mall!
Yesterday, I saw a cute baby boy who was taking a nap in his stroller. The poor child's head was just hanging over the side, and the stroller was completely upright. I know this stroller can be lowered a bit to offer some comfort to the sleeping child, and I wanted to go up to the stroller to lower it for him, so he could sleep more comfortably. Of course, I didn't. But it was bothering me all day.
And I hate seeing children lying on the dirty floor of a store, face down. And yes, this has happened to me many times, with my boys. When I see either boy lying on the ground in a public place, I freak out.
"Oh, my God Dimitry! Get up! That is so gross! Don't you realize how dirty the floor is? Oh, my God, just think about all the people who have walked here, and think about the dirt that is on the bottom of their shoes! Like pee! And sickness! And bacteria! Get up! Here is some Purell. Now let's go home and shower."
Okay, maybe I'm not that dramatic, but pretty close. So to the parents of the children who have tantrums in public places, please make sure to wash your child's hands, and give them a nice bubble bath when you get home, okay?
I'm only looking out for your best interest, you know.
And if you don't like Glee? Well, I don't think we can be friends anymore. Just kidding. I'd still love ya.