Hurt so good

After having given birth twice, I guess I can say I have experienced one of the worst pains of all. On a 'pain scale', being in labour is pretty much at the top, right?

Luckily for me, and thanks to the epidural, I did not find the act of labour that painful.

Here are things that I think are almost, if not more painful than giving birth:

Brazilian Waxing - Let's face it, this is not fun, no matter how much you get along with the person who is doing this to you. It's almost comical, really, the positions you get in to make sure you're um, well groomed. Seriously, you are so exposed! It's not really a pleasant experience! It's amazing you're able to carry on normal conversations while getting waxed. "So did you see last night's episode of Grey's? Oh, my God... ouch! I mean, really, Mer and Derek in the elevator... ow, ow, ow..."

Getting a tattoo - I can't remember how old I was when I get my tattoo. I'm pretty sure I was in University, though. This was not too painful, although I do remember asking the guy "Are you done yet?" about a dozen times! Speaking of tattoos, I am craving another one. Am I too old to get a second tattoo?

Belly button piercing - I got my belly button pierced after I had my tattoo, and I thought the pain wouldn't be that bad. However, it sucked. I am totally sensitve in my belly button, and I almost passed out when I had this done. I remember the guy putting wet paper towels on my forehead, because he was worried I was actually going to faint on that bed.

Burns in the kitchen - Yes, we all know I suck in the kitchen. But you know what they say about a girl who is not good in the kitchen, right? Right. So, I'm an airhead in the kitchen, and I will either cut myself or burn myself if I'm trying to cook. Once, I was making pizza in the oven, from scratch, thank you very much - and I took the pizza pan out with an oven mitt. I then grabbed the pizza pan with my other hand and realized a few seconds too late that I was only wearing one oven mitt. Can you say burn, baby?

Shopping in high heels - Shopping is my favourite thing to do, besides being with my children. I am in heaven when I'm in a mall. And I tend to shop in nice shoes, because wearing nice shoes make trying on and buying nice clothes more pleasurable, you know? But after a few hours of walking around and trying on clothes, shoes, and make-up, my feet are killing me! Once, shopping in Sherway Gardens in Toronto, I had to literally hold onto the walls of the shopping centre as I made my way back to the parking lot.

Stepping on Lego - It is so important to pick up all the little Lego pieces after the children are finished playing with them because if you step on a piece of Lego, you will be cursing so badly your children will start repeating you and then they'll say these bad words in public, making you look like a really terrible mom. But is there anything else you can do, except scream and yell when you step on a piece of Lego? Oh, my God - the pain!

Burning nose with car lighter - No, this is not something I did in a drunken state in my teenage years. I did this in grade 6. I was in the car, on the way to school, and I pushed in the car lighter for fun. It popped back out. I took it out. Looked at it. It didn't look hot... and for reasons I'll never know, I put it on my nose to see if it was, in fact, hot. It was. I had a burn on my nose that lasted a while and I kid you not - my classmates called me Rudolph. Good times.

Getting an epidural - Hands down, this was the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. Oh, and getting my IV. I hate needles. But the idea of a long needle going in and STAYING in my spine for several hours? Nightmare. It took a long time to get my epidural in with my first pregnancy, and it took even longer - 45 minutes or so - with my second. The contractions were pretty bad to begin with, and having an inexperienced guy stick a needle in my spine 8 times before someone else took over was horrible. I will never forget that feeling of the needle being in my spine. This pain tops everything else. Although it gives instant relief once inserted properly and makes labour way more fun (my sister was singing "Push It" by Salt N' Peppa to me in the delivery room and I was singing along) the idea of getting another epidural is almost reason enough for me to never have another child.

What's high on your list of things that hurt?