This is my most honest post yet. Everything I've ever written on my blog has been completely honest and truthful, but what I'm about to say is something I have never talked about here before.
I quit smoking.
Yesterday.
I have been a smoker for many years. I started smoking in high school. Continued through most of University, except for the one year I quit - my second year, I believe. Then, I started again. If you have ever smoked, you'll know it's not the easiest addiction to give up. But I did try.
I quite for a few months before I became pregnant and of course, all throughout my pregnancy. I did not smoke the entire time I was breastfeeding. Then I started to smoke socially again. When I was out for dinner with friends, and drinking a glass of wine, I'd have a cigarette or two. This lead to me having a cigaratte every night before bed, well after my son had gone to sleep.
Again, I quit (obviously) when I was pregnant with my second child. And again, after I stopped breastfeeding, I started socially smoking again. I was not a heavy smoker; maybe a few a day. But still. That is a lot of years of doing some serious damage to my body. (Just want to mention here that I have never smoked anywhere near my children or any other child. For what it's worth, I think people who smoke near their children are in the wrong.)
For someone who is a class-A hypochondriac like I am, it amazes me that I have done this for so long. It doesn't feel good. I feel the effects when I carry my son in my arms up the stairs. I should not be having problems breathing going up the stairs with my child in my arms. I'm a mom of two. How selfish of me to have continued smoking for as long as I have!
At the same time, I will say this - I will miss it. It's been a part of who I am for a long time. I associate smoking with going out and having a good time, the same way some of you may feel about having a glass of wine when you go out. It's hard for me to go out and not think about having a cigarette. I know it is wrong to think this way, to feel this way, but I can't help it. Many of my friends smoke.
I promised myself I would quit by the time I turned 33. That day is almost here. My birthday is September 3rd.
Yesterday, I just stopped smoking. It has not been easy. I have to do this for myself, and especially for my children. I know how bad smoking is - you don't have to remind me of all the terrible things that can happen to you if you smoke. I know. Trust me.
I just wanted to share this with you. And I hope you do not think any differently of me now that you know this.
And oh, yeah - the amount of food I've had today has increased incredibly!
I quit smoking.
Yesterday.
I have been a smoker for many years. I started smoking in high school. Continued through most of University, except for the one year I quit - my second year, I believe. Then, I started again. If you have ever smoked, you'll know it's not the easiest addiction to give up. But I did try.
I quite for a few months before I became pregnant and of course, all throughout my pregnancy. I did not smoke the entire time I was breastfeeding. Then I started to smoke socially again. When I was out for dinner with friends, and drinking a glass of wine, I'd have a cigarette or two. This lead to me having a cigaratte every night before bed, well after my son had gone to sleep.
Again, I quit (obviously) when I was pregnant with my second child. And again, after I stopped breastfeeding, I started socially smoking again. I was not a heavy smoker; maybe a few a day. But still. That is a lot of years of doing some serious damage to my body. (Just want to mention here that I have never smoked anywhere near my children or any other child. For what it's worth, I think people who smoke near their children are in the wrong.)
For someone who is a class-A hypochondriac like I am, it amazes me that I have done this for so long. It doesn't feel good. I feel the effects when I carry my son in my arms up the stairs. I should not be having problems breathing going up the stairs with my child in my arms. I'm a mom of two. How selfish of me to have continued smoking for as long as I have!
At the same time, I will say this - I will miss it. It's been a part of who I am for a long time. I associate smoking with going out and having a good time, the same way some of you may feel about having a glass of wine when you go out. It's hard for me to go out and not think about having a cigarette. I know it is wrong to think this way, to feel this way, but I can't help it. Many of my friends smoke.
I promised myself I would quit by the time I turned 33. That day is almost here. My birthday is September 3rd.
Yesterday, I just stopped smoking. It has not been easy. I have to do this for myself, and especially for my children. I know how bad smoking is - you don't have to remind me of all the terrible things that can happen to you if you smoke. I know. Trust me.
I just wanted to share this with you. And I hope you do not think any differently of me now that you know this.
And oh, yeah - the amount of food I've had today has increased incredibly!
Comments
Kidding! Loukia, we all know how much you love your kids, so just think of their little faces each time the urge to light up hits. Plus, you have something that earlier generations of "quitters" didn't have...
TWITTER!
Constant support.
You can do this!
This is a big first step. One day at a time.
I have friends who have been smoking since they were kids (some of them bought the cigarettes that I tried way back when), and I know how hard it is for them to quit. My husband also has some tobacco addictions (far more gross though - dip - YUCK!) and I see how much he struggles with it.
I think it's one of the hardest habits to kick because as bad as it is for you it is such a prominent aspect of social culture. And (unlike my husband's nasty redneck habit) it's also got a long history with the glamorous and beautiful people. And it's rather European.
Obviously you can quit if you have incentive (like when you were pregnant/breastfeeding) - so I have total faith in your ability to do it again.
Sorry for the mini-post, but I'm a little drunk. Three glasses of wine the night be for a road trip with an early start? Not such a good idea... Since we're being honest and all...
I have told my husband that if we make it to 80 and smoking is still legal, that I'm taking it back up, because at that point, I deserve it.
You have a big group of supporters! You can do it.
My SIL quit when she got pregnant with her first over 7 years ago and as far as I know has NEVER had another one. She says she will start again when she's 80 - just so quitting isn't forever.
Good luck and we got your back sister!
A tip I was given that helped me a lot was to suck on Cinnamon candies. Thre is something in cinnamon that helps soften the withdrawel. It helped me a great deal!
One friend said, "Jess, I've been smoking for 20 years! How do I stop??"
And I know it's hard (you know where I'm coming from on this), but what did the trick for me (other than getting pregnant 2 1/2 years ago) was tackling one trigger at a time, and never more than one, until I had the first one mastered.
You know, make a list of all the triggers and make sure you're brutally honest. Pick a really easy one first, like smoking while standing outside talking with friends then move on to harder ones like when drinking or driving (of course not at the same time!).
I know you didn't ask for advice, per se, but just wanted to throw in my two cents and let you know my strategy. Good for you if cold turkey works!!
Good luck, girl!!
I, too, did it cold turkey but it really worked for me. I wish you luck, sweetie, and remember we are here to support you!
I'm so happy for you!!
P.S. I'd never judge you :)
There are people who have far worse 'Dirty Little Secrets' than this.
You have nothing to be ashamed of :)
so good for you!! take one day at a time. xoxo
I smoked socially in college but it was never something that became a part of me. But when you compare it to wine, I can relate.
I hope it's not as hard for you as you anticipate and wish you all the best in quitting. FOR GOOD. Big Hugs!!
My husband finally quit smoking a couple of years ago using Chantix. We read all of the issues with side effects, but decided to try it anyway. He had been trying for many years to quit but stress would creep in a spoil his plans. Chantix worked and now he is free.
BTW, I get a bit too personal on my blog sometimes, I suppose and write about stuff that I am sure no one wants to read about. But, this is your outlet and you have a whole world of supporters here.
Cheers again to your efforts.
Good luck!
GO YOU! You can do it!!!
Love you!
Good luck to you. Make sure you report back often, we are all here for encouraging words if needed!
Take it one day at a time. :)
This is the best gift you can give yourself and your family. You should be proud. Keep us posted!
I still smoke.
Like you, I never smoked while trying, while pregnant or while breastfeeding.
But the second my boobies dried up, Sweetie Pie and I went back to our post-bed time cigarette outside. I think of us as the couple version of James Spader and William Shatner in Boston Legal, where they rehash the day while smoking a cigar, except we're married and we have a cigarette.
Is it bad for me? Sure. Am I ready to give it up? Not yet. And I'll be 34 on September 11th! I had no clue our b-days were so close to each other! (See how I changed the subject so well???)
it sucks. One thing that did help me was jolly ranchers, lots of water and gum (regular gum, i've never tried the nicorette or anything)
anyway...best of luck!
Just remember: you aren't trying to quit smoking. You are now a non-smoker who doesn't want to to take up a dangerous habit again. Non-smoker, non-smoker...
Both my parents are struggling with smoking, but I don't think they truly want to quit. Sounds like you do.
xoxo
And as for judgement? No way, girl -- no one's perfect. In fact, I am subscribing to your blog right now just to show you my support!
All the best ... julie
I don't remember seeing you smoke in university...must've been second year!
I hope it works this time. It's hard at first, but the rewards (better health, you'll smell better to the boys, you'll enjoy flavours/smells more, you'll feel pride...) are immeasurable.
F&E,
Dee
You can do it!
I quit a long time ago on patches and jolly ranchers. I stil can't eat the purple ones, they make me want a smoke. I did it though and feel a zillion times better.
You can do it!