When I was pregnant with my first son, I was clueless about everything having to do with babies. Sure, I had some experience changing diapers, and hanging out with other people's babies, but not for longer than like, 20 minutes at a time.
I was a blissfully happy pregnant girl, because I ate McFrosties and Blizzards every single day for 9 months. And lots of Doriots, until I found out they contained MSG and then oh my God, I never touched them again until after my baby was born. Also, my husband would cook me the most fantastic and oh-so healthy meals. I had salmon at least once a week and I think that's why my babies are now so smart!
We had the perfect nursery. My husband took out the carpet, installed hardwood floors, chair rail, crown moulding, thick baseboards, and painted the room a gorgeous blue and green colour. We had beautiful white furntiure, gorgeous bedding, paintings, and lots and lots of baby clothes hung in the closet and folded in the dresser drawers. I even got a very uncomfortable but pretty white 'nursing' chair for the room. No slider for me - none I saw were nice enough for this room!
I also slept a lot during my pregnancy. I fell asleep during movies, both at home and in the theatres. I fell asleep everywhere. I was so tired all the time. Little did I know my body was telling me to sleep all I could then because I certainly wasn't going to sleep after the baby was born!
I was induced, so before we went to the hospital, hubby and I stopped off at Starbucks for the last time as a family of two. I had orange juice and a lemon poppy seed loaf... yum! We got to the hospital, and it was a fun day, really. I ate pizza for lunch. The nurses were great, my entire family was there, and then I had my baby. Easy-peasy. Better than a brazilian wax, it was. (Yes, of course I had an epidural!)
And my baby was born and my life was forever changed. I could not stop staring at him. I did not sleep for 48 hours. I was petrified to close my eyes.
But I sure wish someone had told me a few things before I had my baby, though...
Like:
How I would not be able to sleep for fear of something happening to my baby.
How important Purell would be.
How tired I'd be.
How I would not fit into my regular clothes for weeks. I mean, months. (Okay, years.)
How to burp a baby. I had such a hard time with this!
How to master the perfect swaddle.
How to put the infant carrier into the stroller properly. Took me a few weeks to get this right!
How to give a newborn a bath - that was really hard.
How to not get peed on.
How important it is to take a nap when the baby is napping!
How important a nursing chair would be - ugly or not!
But, you learn as you go, right? And as each day passed, being a mom became easier and easier. In some ways. The tired part has lingered, though.
When my second son was born, the new feeling I had was 'guilt' - guilt for being apart from my first born for the first time overnight. Guilt at not knowing how to perfectly split my time between the two; just your regular mommy guilt.
But things like breastfeeding and burping and swaddling a second child - those came easily to me, for the most part. You sort of forget and then quickly remember how small they are and how to handle them, you know? And you realize that two children? Are very much harder then just one - but perfect at the same time!
What do you wish you had known before you had your first baby? What is the one piece of advice you wish someone had to told you - and what advice do you give moms who are expecting their first child?
I was a blissfully happy pregnant girl, because I ate McFrosties and Blizzards every single day for 9 months. And lots of Doriots, until I found out they contained MSG and then oh my God, I never touched them again until after my baby was born. Also, my husband would cook me the most fantastic and oh-so healthy meals. I had salmon at least once a week and I think that's why my babies are now so smart!
We had the perfect nursery. My husband took out the carpet, installed hardwood floors, chair rail, crown moulding, thick baseboards, and painted the room a gorgeous blue and green colour. We had beautiful white furntiure, gorgeous bedding, paintings, and lots and lots of baby clothes hung in the closet and folded in the dresser drawers. I even got a very uncomfortable but pretty white 'nursing' chair for the room. No slider for me - none I saw were nice enough for this room!
I also slept a lot during my pregnancy. I fell asleep during movies, both at home and in the theatres. I fell asleep everywhere. I was so tired all the time. Little did I know my body was telling me to sleep all I could then because I certainly wasn't going to sleep after the baby was born!
I was induced, so before we went to the hospital, hubby and I stopped off at Starbucks for the last time as a family of two. I had orange juice and a lemon poppy seed loaf... yum! We got to the hospital, and it was a fun day, really. I ate pizza for lunch. The nurses were great, my entire family was there, and then I had my baby. Easy-peasy. Better than a brazilian wax, it was. (Yes, of course I had an epidural!)
And my baby was born and my life was forever changed. I could not stop staring at him. I did not sleep for 48 hours. I was petrified to close my eyes.
But I sure wish someone had told me a few things before I had my baby, though...
Like:
How I would not be able to sleep for fear of something happening to my baby.
How important Purell would be.
How tired I'd be.
How I would not fit into my regular clothes for weeks. I mean, months. (Okay, years.)
How to burp a baby. I had such a hard time with this!
How to master the perfect swaddle.
How to put the infant carrier into the stroller properly. Took me a few weeks to get this right!
How to give a newborn a bath - that was really hard.
How to not get peed on.
How important it is to take a nap when the baby is napping!
How important a nursing chair would be - ugly or not!
But, you learn as you go, right? And as each day passed, being a mom became easier and easier. In some ways. The tired part has lingered, though.
When my second son was born, the new feeling I had was 'guilt' - guilt for being apart from my first born for the first time overnight. Guilt at not knowing how to perfectly split my time between the two; just your regular mommy guilt.
But things like breastfeeding and burping and swaddling a second child - those came easily to me, for the most part. You sort of forget and then quickly remember how small they are and how to handle them, you know? And you realize that two children? Are very much harder then just one - but perfect at the same time!
What do you wish you had known before you had your first baby? What is the one piece of advice you wish someone had to told you - and what advice do you give moms who are expecting their first child?
Comments
1. Breastfeeding is not as easy as it looks (but once you get the hang of it it's easier than filling and heating and sterilizing bottles!!).
2. You don't need a lot of "stuff" for the first few months. Babies just need to eat and sleep until about 3 months old.
3. Your baby will out grow their clothes very quickly! So best to borrow from a friend or buy used where possible. When they're very young, they may only wear a cute little outfit once before they grow out of it.
Also, totally agree with you on the rocker!!
I agree with you though, figuring out how to bathe a newborn was a difficult task. And napping when the baby naps, is so incredibly important, who knew?
Great post!
It also depends on what kind of person you are .. I am not a worrisome person so when my baby cries I don't freak out I just try doing everything I read and if that doesn't work I stay calm and just try it all over again ... My hubby gets all freaked out and panicky haha
as for my first born and spending less time with her I am like you .. she's been acting out abit more lately and I feel so bad for her as my hubby seems to lose patience with her alot more and she doesn't understand that she is doing bad things ... I cried last night as I felt like he keeps expressing dissapointment in her and she is just trying to get our attention even though we give her loads ... I can only imagine how my little Livia is feeling ...
http://www.phdinparenting.com/2008/08/04/10-things-all-new-parents-should-know/
My advice: Accept all help. If someone says Can I do something? Say, yes, please bring us a meal we can eat now or freeze.
AND:
Buy a miracle swaddle blanket before the baby is born!
AND:
Read this book - 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old. We started the training when she was 4 months old because we weren't comfortable doing it any earlier - and it worked in three days.
I wish someone had told me:
2. to enjoy sleeping in as much as possible prior to my first baby's birth.
2. that breastfeeding would not necessarily be easy.
3. not to let anyone take any post-baby pictures of me!
I knew that napping was important, I just didn't do it often enough. I'm still catching up!
The best baby item is that sticker calendar where you document "firsts". I don't have scrapbooks done, or baby books completely filled in, but the info is on the calendars.
But, I do wish that didn't expect nursing to be easy (it wasnt' at first, but soon became wonderful), that my healing afterwards wouldn't be discussed much but was very important! (drinking lots of water, the hunger, the tiredness...)
There are some things that we bought or were given as gifts that we just didn't use much - like the nursery bedding.
My advice though for first time parents? Enjoy it. Gulp up every single minute of it, because it goes to fast...
And what you wrote about expecting you second baby...nobody ever told me how exciting yet hard it would be on my emotions. I sometimes feel like I'm letting Isabella down in a way...and I've been sick thinking of when the day comes for Madelyn to make her entrance and know Isabella will be sooo confused where her momma and daddy are. It really breaks my heart :(
But at the same time I'm so excited for her to have a friend at home, someone to play with and share her secrets with. Plus I can't wait to meet baby Madelyn!
Sorry this was sooo long :)
but you are right - the list is long of things i wish i knew - but you really don't know until you are in the trenches do you?
But all that preparing was the best thing I ever did. I returned to a spotlessly clean and organized house which I didn't have to lift a finger in for a couple weeks, other than the basic upkeep. Those freezer meals kept me from going stark raving mad on days when I all I did was breastfeed, eat and breastfeed some more.
But I wish someone would have told me about the possibility that my baby would continue to wake up to nurse 2-3 times a night until the age of one. I am just now making up for the lack of sleep, now that he's two. Yawn.
2. That your baby will do things on THEIR schedule (including and ESPECIALLY sleeping through the night)
3. To buy a babywearing wrap. Man would that have been awesome with my first!
Great post!
1. Baby will breastfeed ALL the time. Don't worry, you're not going to spoil it. And its OK to use the breast as a pacifier.
2. Sleep when baby sleeps. And if baby won't sleep alone (like mine), just take baby to bed with you whenever you feel like a nap.
3. Get a soft wrap and carry that baby round the house when you get sick of sitting down. It will stop the baby from crying.
Things would have been a lot easier if I had known this stuff nine months ago.
I would tell new moms: whatever you're feeling -- good, bad, ugly, indifferent -- it's NORMAL. And also, that everything's a phase and will eventually pass.
When I had my second baby I couldn't imagine ever going anywhere with the 2 of them by myself, it seemed so overwhelming. Now, of course, it's old hat.
Oh and I knew about the sleep deprivation but you don't REALLY KNOW until you go through it yourself... I always tell new moms the classic line - SLEEP WHEN BABY SLEEPS! : )
And then along came baby number three and there is no prefect nursery, not even a shared one. No, he gets a towel on the bed to be changed on and a cradle in the corner.
I wish someone had told me that they don't need all that stuff. All they need is a boob and a diaper.
Splitting myself between three has yet to be mastered.
Ah, parenthood.