After reading this awesome post by Maria, I thought to myself: I can't believe I have not written a post about my fears, being that I am the biggest hypochondriac I know. Like, seriously. You have no idea how worried I get over every little thing! I'm not talking about the normal worry we have about something bad happening to the people we love, but other less significant, yet totally paralyzing, fears.
Some of my biggest fears and worries are:
Flying. Flying scares me. I have always been afraid of flying. I have flown a lot - to Europe many times, to many parts of the US, to the other side of Canada, to various caribbean islands. I close my eyes during take-off. Once we have been in the air for 10 minutes, I relax a little, because I have heard that the most dangerous and most likely time to crash is during those first 10 minutes. Oh, you didn't know that? Well, now you do. Happy flying! When I'm flying, I will eat whatever food is given to me. No matter how gross. The creamers for the coffee. The sugar for the coffee, the dessert, the pretzels, the so-called chicken... whatever. I eat and eat. Do you know why I do this? No, not because I'm hungry. I do this because it will keep my energy levels up in case I need to tread water. You know, in case our plane crashes into the ocean and I have to wait to be rescued. I need to have a full stomach so I can do this. Also? Turbulance sucks. I hate it. No matter how many times the flight attendants tell me it's okay. It's not really okay. Didn't the recent Air France plane crash experience really bad turblance? I rest my case. It's just not normal to drop a few hundred feet while you're in the air, or to be shaking so badly it feels like an earthquake is happening mid-air. I try to read while flying. Once, I tried to read a book about getting over the fear of flying, but it did not help. On a trip back from Acapulco, our flight was delayed. By over 1 hour. While we were sitting IN the plane. I asked the flight attendant what the problem was, and she told me there was some engine problems. I freaked out. Started crying. She told me I could go see the pilot, to see if he could calm me down. This was before 9/11, of course. I went into the cockpit, and saw 2 pilots with every manual you can imagine opened on the floor - papers everywhere. The very nice pilot said to me: "Don't worry. I don't want to die, either. We're going to figure out what's wrong before we take-off." And thank you, nice pilot, for almost making me jump out of that plane.
Insects are gross. I hate bugs. Truly. I am scared of bugs. The 3 bugs I hate the most are: earwigs, spiders and centipedes. Once, when I was living in D.C., I saw a centipede run into my closet. I had no idea where it went, all I knew was it was in my closet. So, I did what any normal and level-headed person would do - I emptied out my entire closet, and left all my clothes in the family room for the remainder of the time I lived there. I never did find out where that centipede went, but I was glad it was not something I'd have to worry about each morning when I got dressed. Spiders also freak me out completely. I have almost caused several car accidents due to spiders being on me while driving. I noticed a spider crawling on the sleeve of my coat once, so I started smashing my arm against the window to try to kill it. Not realizing that my other hand was still holding the steering wheel - which meant I was zig-zagging in and out of the lanes to the left and to the right of me. Yes, that was stupid. But thank God, by some small miracle, there were NO cars around me. Phew.
Germs are my enemy. My hands are always dry because I wash them a million times a day. The fear of germs increased 100 percent when my first child was born. I was freaked out about anyone touching him. The day after he was born, 15 people came to visit me at the same time. My husband, who had just stepped out of the room to get some water, came back in my room to warn me. I wanted to run away with my baby, but I had no time. Someone touched my baby's hand. Which, hello? Might as well have spit in his mouth! I whispered to my mom: "OMG, mom, OMG!" And my mom, what does she do? She goes and puts some Purell on his tiny newborn hand. Okay, so I officially had a heart attack then. Germs and alcohol poisoning? I could not deal! This fear mostly went away when my second baby was born - I was okay with people holding him. I was not a Purell freak like I was the first time around, but still. Isn't it just common sense to wash your hands before you hold a baby? We carry antibacterial wipes with us everywhere we go, and I always wash their hands before they eat. I also make sure to wipe down the grocery cart handles before they touch it. Because, eww!
Those are my top 3 fears - flying, insects, and germs. What about you? What makes you totally sick with worry?