Loulou's views

Time

2009-11-11T20:22:00.011-05:00

Every year, in the late fall, we go to the same pumpkin patch near our house. It's become a tradition, one I enjoy very much, especially because we make new memories every year, and because my boys seem to love the experience, too.

Every year, we take a picture in front of the same pile of pumpkins, and I love looking back throughout the years to see how much my children have grown.

The first time we went, in 2006, my oldest son was 14 months old.

The next year, in 2007, I was very pregnant with baby boy number 2. I love this picture of my son and I. I totally valued the time we spent alone together before the newest member of the family came along.... I knew once my new baby was born, spending time alone with my oldest son wouldn't be as frequent an occurance.

In fall 2008, the newest member of our family joined in for the traditional picture... notice he isn't wearing shoes? Yeah, some things change with the second baby, don't they? I had a tendency of leaving the house without putting any shoes on my baby boy!

This year, the boys posed alone for the traditonal picture... and it amazes me to see how much they have grown.

Where does the time go, really? How are the years going by so quickly, right before my eyes? It is amazing, wonderful, and sad all at the same time. The definition of bittersweet. I want to hold on to my baby boys right now, becaue they are at such magical ages, and every day they make me laugh, filling my heart with happiness. Every day they fill my heart with worry, too. It's a roller-coaster ride, being a mom, isn't it?

Sure, the days are sometimes long, and I complain about the little things. I lose my patience. I complain. I get tired. It is tiring, being a mom. But it is also so worth it, so worth this journey and adventure. Because it really is totally awesome. Especially experiencing the little things - the little things like singing in the car with my children, watching them dance, reading a book to them before bed, sleeping beside them, bathing them. Each moment is like a picture captured in my mind forever. A memory I'll always have. And seeing the pictures of the years gone by is totally amazing.... and always makes me smile.

Facing your fears

2009-11-09T11:11:00.008-05:00

Facing one's fears is never an easy thing. If you're arachnophobic, suddenly being face-to-face with a giant, eight-legged creature is never a good thing. And if you're scared of flying, (aka pteromerhanophobia) every time the plane takes off down the runway, your heart skips a beat and your panic doesn't subside until the plane has safely landed. Another common fear that many people suffer from - acrophobia - being afraid of heights - can make someone very anxious. Having astraphobia - being afraid of thunder and lightning - can be quite scary, too. Especially if you're home alone, worried the power will go out at any moment, leaving you completely in the dark... and thinking all sorts of horrible thoughts - well, let's just say, all these fears are very real, and can be debilitating at times. I suffer from all these fears, to some extent.

But there is something I fear much more than all of those 'other' fears combined together. I suffer from mysophobia. The fear of germs. I'm not insane, although I do Purell a bit more than is even recommended. My children know the importance of hand-washing, and my oldest son, after he sneezes and sees my eyes growing as large as saucers, says to me:

"Don't worry, mommy, it's not H1!"

Well, I had to face this fear of mine in a huge way this weekend.

There is nothing like having to take your child to the bathroom for 'number 2' at a truck stop in the middle of nowhere to put you face-to-face with your biggest fear: germs, bacteria and of yeah - H1N1! I was in this situation yesterday, as we were driving back from a day trip to Montreal.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" my 4 year old exclaimed from the backseat.

Secretly, I was hoping there would be no rest-stop in sight, so that he would just have to hold it until we go home, but 'home' wasn't for another hour, so I knew we had to stop.

I contemplated letting my husband take Christos to the bathroom, but I had a feeling the state of the men's washroom - in the middle of nowhere, Canada - would be more... um, dirty than the ladies room.

With Purell and baby wipes in hand, I took my son into the rest-stop, and decided to go to the 'family bathroom', thinking it would the 'cleanest' of all our choices.

I covered the toilet seat in paper towels and toilet paper, and my son said:

"Well, where am I suppose to go to the bathroom?" I had covered the seat so much, the opening was almost not visible at all.

"Right here, sweetie", I said to him, and lifted him up.

I don't know about your children, but my oldest son prefers going to go the bathroom with his clothes off. Yet another challenge in a public restroom, that in my mind, was just swimming in all the germs I did not want to encounter. I took off his shoes, placed them on the counter, and held his pants and underwear.

"Christos, don't touch anything! There are so many germs in here... it's so icky!" I said to my boy.

I realized I was a little insane, as I was giving my son ridiculous fears, fears he didn't need, especially because he's only 4 years old. But I could not help myself... as I imagined little H1 bugs crawling all over the place. I begged him to hurry up, as this was not suppose to be an enjoyable experience, certainly not as relaxing as it is at home.

"Hurry up, darling... daddy and Dimitry are waiting in the car!"

We talked about why there was a shower in the bathroom, and we figured out that it was there for all the truckers to use. Great, I thought to myself, just thinking of all the people who had showered mere inches from us that day.

Luckily, this experience didn't last longer than 10 minutes, and after I dressed my son again, ever so carefully, we washed our hands well with soap and warm water. I then used paper towels to open the door, and told my son that since his hands were so clean, he should avoid touching anything until we got back to the car.

Phew... we made it back to the car in one piece. And we're both fine today.

Note: I have always been a clean person, as I am sure you all are, too, but this 'fear' didn't really enter my life until I became a mom. I can't even tell you how many things have changed since I've become a mom! I mean, I used to be the girl who would have no problem lying down in an airport terminal to wait for her flight! Hmm.

Anyway, so I faced my biggest fear. And we survived. However, it wasn't exactly something I look forward to doing again anytime soon!

Interview with a 4 year old

2009-11-05T10:09:00.003-05:00

Oh, the things our children say! I never get tired of hearing my little boy, my 4 year old, talking. The conversations we have, the things he says, the way his mind works - it's totally amazing. He teaches me things. He corrects me, even. He asks questions I don't have the answers to. His mind is constantly working, constantly trying to figure things out. He is his happiest when he is 'working', and doing 'real' projects around the house. He is always inquisitive.

The things he says also makes me laugh. Lately, if he sees his brother going towards one of his toys, he'll say:

"I was JUST going to play that!" and take it away from him.

The other day, I decided to keep him home from school, and after I told him, he says:

"I was JUST thinking about not going to school today! Yay!"

Or, if he really likes something, he'll say:

"I just LOVE that!"

Every so often, I sit down with my oldest son, and ask him a list of questions to see what he'll say, even though I pretty much already know how he'll answer. It's a nice way to keep track of all the things he loved at certain stages of his childhood.

What does your little brother Dimitry like to do?

He likes to play around, take my stuff, and do everything I do.

What do you like to do?

I love to play bulldozers, stuff like that... and play crystal store.

Do you love school?

Yup! Right away!

What things do you do in school that you like?

I do nothing!

Okay... what else?

I play, I do crafts, I go to the gym.

What are your favourite books right now?

Destruction books, If you Give a Mouse a Cookie, Amelia Bedelia.

What is your favourite song?

No One by Alicia Keys!

Who do you love?

Daddy.

You can say more than one person, you know...

Daddy, mommy.

And? (I point to his brother)

Dimitry.

Okay.

What is your favourite TV show?

Animal Mechanicals, Busytown Mysteries, and Mighty Machines - Mighty Machines is my really favourite. It's just my favourite!

What do you want Santa to bring you?

Transformers, a bumblebee suit, and a snowplow.

What's your favourite word?

Raccoo!

Favourite food?

Noodles. Actually, shells.

How many languages do you know?

Greek, English, French bonjour comma ca va!

What is your most favourite place you've been to? Florida? Bahamas?

Toronto!

What is your favourite planet?

Saturn!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A destruction worker.

Ah... the innocence. I love it! And I figure I still have time to convince my son that a career in medicine is better than a career as a destruction worker, right? Unless he wants to own his own construction company. Then I'll be all for that, too!

Everything you wanted to know about you-know-what but were afraid to ask

2009-11-03T21:35:00.013-05:00

So, you want to know what do about H1N1? Well, you have come to the right place. Because let me tell you - I am a wealth of information! I have read everything that has been published about this nasty flu over the last few weeks. In fact, I feel confident that I could hold my very own press conference, and give some solid answers to people.

I have read everything from the World Health Organization, from the Public Health Agency of Canada, from Health Canada, from CDC, and all sorts of articles from local and national media. Of course, I have watched the nightly news, I read the Globe and Mail daily, I have talked to my pediatrician's office several times, I have called in to our local news talk radio show and have spoken with a very educated doctor. I battled with my decision to get my children vaccinated, and decided it was in their best interest to get the shots over with. However, despite my knowledge about this flu, I, like most of you, still have lingering questions.

So, here you go...

The vaccine is safe. It is. I have had the shot, and I'm still standing. My children have had the shot. We got the shot with the adjuvant. However, if you're pregnant, you should wait to get the non-adjuvant shot. Oh, wait - now they're saying you can safely get the adjuvant shot, too. It's up to you. But Canada has ordered the non-adjuvant shot, just in case. Well, no, there has been no clinical study with pregnant woman, ever, but we still say it's safe. But it's up to you. But you should get the shot. When you're more than 20 weeks. Or if you're just pregnant. Or think you're pregnant. Or not.

Oh, and if you already have children? Then get the shot, damn it! And like, right now! And I mean ALL children between the ages of 6 months and 5 years old, because they are most at risk. Oh, wait - it should really be all school-aged children, so all school-aged children go get the vaccine. What? Your older children are not allowed to get the shot once they arrive at the clinic? Ooops. I mean, they could just wait until next week, of course. But then... we'll be out of the vaccine. So go back in line. No, actually, wait. No, go. No, don't go. Just young kids. Not the older kids. Actually, yeah, sure, all school-aged children, get in line.

Oh, and you? You healthy 33 year old? You got the shot? Oops, our bad, we weren't really asking the right questions, it seems. Ah, well. At least you're vaccinated. Oh, shoot. Now we are running out of the vaccine. But we promise more vaccines are coming.

And whatever you do, do not panic! I mean, it's JUST a pandemic. Don't get scared. Even though it's all you're hearing on the news non-stop for weeks on end. Even though hospitals are not sure how to handle the amount of patients they are seeing, even though articles are being written about every possible scenario you can imagine.

Oh, and I know you have perfected the evil eye - you give 'the look' to anyone who coughs within 100 metres of you. I mean, how infuriating is that? If someone is sick, stay home! Enough is enough. If I hear one more person cough near me, I will scream!

And everything I eat now officially tastes like Purell, but anyway. At least it is protecting me, right? I just looked in my purse. I have 2 bottles of Purell, one bottle of another hand sanitizer, and two small bottles of Bath and Body Works anti-bacterial hand sanitizer. My car is equipped with 2 giant containers of Wet Ones! I'm prepared. But I'm not suppose to worry, right?

Don't panic. It's not that bad. Oh, my goodness. It is bad. It really is... or not? What are they sayiing now?

Oh, and you were told your child needs 2 shots of the vaccine, given 21 days apart for maximum protection? And now the WHO is sayinig that actually one shot is enough? But wait... CDC is saying 2 shots are for sure more effective. But we don't have any idea yet. We have not figured it out. Don't worry, though. We'll give you an answer. Someday. Soon. Yes, your children need 2 sho - oh, wait - no they don't. Oh, yeah, that's right, the USA uses the non-adjuvant vaccine. Which means... yeah, we still don't really know what we are talking about. Nor do we have any idea how many people have received the vaccine.

Okay... does anybody have a headache? I am not kidding, I found a white hair in my head this week. I am THAT stressed out. And I apologize, as I just realized I don't actually have the answers. Huh.

Disclaimer: I take this flu very seriously, as anyone who follows me on Twitter or knows me in real life can attest. I really am paralyzed with fear, and I have been vaccinated against H1N1, along with my husband and children. I am very glad we got the shot, and I hope you have all made the best decision for your family, too, whether you've gotten vaccinated or not. I am also thankful I live in this country, and able to get a free vaccine that could potentially save my life. I do appreciate what we have and what we've been given. I hope and pray this flu goes away quickly, and I also pray that everyone who gets this flu gets it mildly.

Don't say I didn't warn you...

2009-11-02T09:40:00.013-05:00

Finally, the month of November is here! That means I can officially start talking about all things festive with abundance without anyone telling me it's too early. Right? I mean, if stores are all decked out in holiday mode, then I am allowed to be festive on my blog too! I promise I won't talk about the holidays everyday for the next few months... just a few posts, okay?

Now, one of the most important things about this time of year - besides decorations and Christmas shopping, of course - those are blog posts all on their own - is the search for the perfect holiday card.

Shopping for the perfect holiday card is something I look forward to every year. This year, along with the tradition card that I will send out to friends, I will also be sending out a limited number of 'picture' cards - you know, the holiday cards with pictures of your children on them? Just because I like to add some variety in what I send out!

What I usually do is go to a few of my favourite stores to see what selection of cards they have. I will pick up a box I love and start walking away to pay for them, confident with my choice, until I notice another box of holiday cards, a box that is calling my name: "Loukia! Pick us! We're much cuter!" I pick up that box, and am happy that I have finally found the 'perfect' box of cards to mail out to everyone. But then... I see another box I love. And another box. And I start getting a little stressed out and I just stand there for about 20 minutes looking at penguins and Christmas trees and Santas and mittens and sparkles and candy cane and ornaments and all of a sudden, that festive mood I was in turns more like 'Bah-Humbug' until I finally settle on a box I love. I try not to look back, because to question my decision now would be no good at all.

For the record, I have used my mother's cards many times before. I love her artwork, and I think her cards are always awesome at this time of year, especially because proceeds from her cards go to the Children's Wish Foundation and to UNICEF, among other charities.

Lately, though, I'm totally into Christmas trees. Which is what the cards I ended up with have on them this year!

And yes, I did buy my cards yesterday. Now, the other time consuming part is getting all my addressess together. Seems every year there are more and more people to send cards out to, but I'm not complaining. Oh, no. I LOVE sending out Christmas cards just as much as I love to receive them. And the one thing I don't like to hear is this: "But I just didn't have time to send out any cards..." Oh, no. If I can do it - a full-time working mother of two young and active boys, then YOU certainly can, too. I'm also used to getting less than 5 hours of sleep a night, too, but I digress...

For goodness sakes, we all have time to find, address, and send out holiday cards. And I'm here to tell you that even though it is only the second of November, if you start early - you will not have to worry about running out of time to send out your cards! Also, I'd really appreciate receiving my cards by December 20th, at the latest, so they can all be displayed nicely on my fireplace mantle in time for my Christmas party, okay? Thank you.

Now, what are you waiting for? I know there is a store out there calling your name... just waiting for you to pick out that perfect box of holiday cards. And I'm just an email away if you need my address. This year, let's all vow to send out our cards on time! It's the... festive thing to do!

Breaking News: Mommy blogger reachers new level of stress and worry

2009-10-27T15:49:00.004-04:00

H1N1 has been on my mind these last few days because a couple of very young people have suddenly died from this flu. It is all I have been talking about with my family and friends, and it's all I've been talking about on Twitter, too.

I'm the type of person who has a hard time deciding what to wear each day. I have a hard time deciding on what colour - what shade of brown - to paint my walls. I am a very indecisive person. Making decisions does not come easy to me, and I often need re-assurance by other people. Mostly by my family and close personal friends, but I value the opinions of my online community, too.

I have lost sleep and calories (meaning, I keep forgetting to eat!) because I have been debating the H1N1 vaccine for several days now. Yes, people die every year from the regular flu, but H1N1 seems to be a far worse flu for various reasons. Young, healthy people are dying everyday from this flu. Our hospitals are seeing many cases of this flu daily. In some cases, very severe cases. It's just scary. At the height of my worry, a few months ago, I was hoping 'they' would come out with a shot to help everyone stay healthy.

Finally, a vaccine was approved in Canada. And then there were doubts... doubts about the safety of a vaccine that was made so quickly, doubts about the ingredients this vaccine contains, doubts overall.

I have read everything you can imagine from the Public Health Agency of Canada website, from the Health Canada website, and other medical articles. I have read all the Q's and A's. I have read articles from the World Health Organization. Basically, everyone across the board - and by everyone I mean all the experts, the doctors, the researchers and scientist - all say the vaccine that is out right now is SAFE and effective.

The vaccine that is currently available in Canada contains Thimerosal, which, as we all know, contains a small amount of mercury. The amount of mercury in this vaccine is about the same as the amount of mercury found in a can of tuna. Nothing I would worry about. Also, Thimerosal is in all the flu vaccines that are given out in Canada, anyway, from what I've heard. It's nothing new. The controversy around this preservative has never been proven; in fact, the fears have been all but dismissed as completey untrue. My doctor says not to worry. That it is safe. It's such a small amount.

The vaccine we have in Canada contains an 'adjuvant' - basically, an element that includes a substance that boosts a person's immune system and increases their response to a vaccine. An 'unadjuvanted' vaccine has no booster element. Adjuvanted vaccines are in other common vaccines, like tetanus shots. The adjuvant in Canada's H1N1 vaccine is made up of natural ingredients like water, squalene oil and vitamin E. Squalene is a naturally occuring substance found in plants, animals and humans. After reading about this obsessively, the conclusion is that it is safe.

In June of this year, the WHO held consultations on the safety of adjuvanted influenza vaccines to discuss known and theoretical safety concerns. The outcome of the WHO consultation was that no significant safety concerns or barriers to evaluating or using adjuvanted vaccines for the current H1N1 virus were raised. All evidence is suggesting that the adjuvanted vaccine is just as safe as the unadjuvanted vaccine. Apparently, the adjuvanted vaccine offers greater protection than the non-adjuvant vaccine.

The bottom line is this - if we can prevent a serious flu like H1N1, we should do whatever we can. Washing our hands more frequently, coughing and sneezing into our sleeves, staying home if we are sick, eating healthier, taking our vitamins.

And getting vaccinated if there is a vaccine available to us. This is the year 2009. We have amazing scientists, researchers and doctors who did not just press the green light on this vaccine 'for fun'. This is serious. It's a pandemic. And I believe, I have to believe, I choose to believe - that my counry has my best interest at heart. It's not a totally new vaccine. It is very similar to the regular flu vaccine, which people get every single year. And did you know that every year they 'tweak' the flu vaccine? There are different ingredients in it every year, however, most of us have never questioned this before.

Now, we are being urged to get vaccinated - especially those in the high risks groups - which include children between 6 months old and 5 years old. My oldest son had a bad case of pneumonia last year - so bad, he required surgery in his lung to drain fluid. He had a chest tube in him for 4 days, and was on morphine. He had to wear an oxygen mask. IV, countless ultrasounds, C/T scans, x-rays. It was a nightmare, to say the least. I have seen my child that sick. I never want to see that again. I have been given a chance here to prevent my children from getting H1N1. An approved vaccine is available to me. I'm no doctor. And we all know (besides a few reputable sites online - such as Health Canada and WHO) we can't totally trust all the negative information we read.

I wish I could run away with my children, to a place far away, where H1N1 doesn't exist. But that is not a real choice. Instead, I can choose to get my children - and myself - vaccinated. I spoke to my children's pediatrician, whom I trust. And he is recommending this vaccine. The one that is out now, the adjuvant one. I am feeling strongly about getting this vaccine for my children. Even though I do have doubts. It's in our best interest, health wise. Getting H1N1 is a far worse scenario than any adverse effects the vaccine may have.

I never questioned any of the immunizations my children received. Shot after shot, I approved and happily got them vaccinated. I never even asked what the ingredients were in these vaccines. I just trusted the doctor. And got my children vaccinated.

This has been the hardest choice and decision I have had to make as a parent yet. It's not fun. It's not easy. It's absolutely stressful. And I hate it. It makes me cry. I feel horrible for all of us having to make such a critical choice. We can only do what we think is best. Whatever that may be.

Good Luck to you all. And let's hope this flu goes away soon.

When doing it solo makes more sense

2009-10-26T07:26:00.001-04:00

Sometimes, certain things are better enjoyed alone, even though they can also be enjoyed with a partner. Or even with multiple people at the same time. And while it can be very pleasurable when you do it as a threesome, or a duo, there is something to be said for doing it alone. When you do it alone, you will almost always have a happy ending. You know what you want and what you like. You don't have to do anything but the task at hand, and you can do it as quick as you like or you can take your sweet time, if that's your thing. You can fantasize and you can leave all your troubles at the door.

Of course, I'm talking about shopping.

When you go shopping, do you prefer to be alone, with your husband/significant other or with your friends?

To be honest - I love shopping solo. I get the most satisfaction and 'bang for my buck', so to speak, when I'm alone. I don't have to talk to anyone, I don't have to go into stores I don't want to go into, I don't have to wait to tell my friends they look good in what they're trying on, and I don't have to have a panic attack if I see my friend pick up the shirt that I was going to buy but damn it it's in her hands and now I can't say I want that shirt, too and I hope it looks terrible on her so I can buy it type of panic attack. Because that sucks.

When I'm shopping alone, I don't have to feel guilty about spending money on items I don't need. Tell me, is there anything more annoying than shopping with someone whose only goal is to make you feel bad about the experience? I often go shopping with my little sister, who is 6 years younger than me but also somehow more practical about things like shopping. (Even though she has a dozen pairs of designer jeans, and several pairs of UGGS, but I digress...) When I shop with my sister, this is what typically happens:

"Loukia? Why are you holding that black shirt? How many black shirts do you have? You don't need another black shirt. I thought you wanted to renovate your kitchen?"

"But, Gina... I don't have a shirt like this..."

"Yes you do. How many black shirts do you need? You're ridiculous."

Sigh. "Fine."

"Oh, my God, put that sweater down, it's ugly."

"Gina, but I love it!"

"Eww, really? I'm telling mom. You shop way too much!"

"Look, this is an awesome brown sweater and I'm totally buying it because it will go with my new brown boots and this way, I will have to wear the boots more often and it will be worth the money I spent on them if I buy more clothes to wear with them."

"Loukia. Look at what you're wearing right now. A brown sweater. You don't need another brown sweater. Seriously, no wonder you complain you never have any money..."

"I love this sweater, Gina! It's not the same shade of brown!"

"Fine. Buy it. You're just buying it for the sake of buying something."

I buy the shirt. I feel terrible about it, but I buy the stupid shirt.

Moving on, we enter a toy store. I see 2 cute trucks that I think would be great for my boys for Christmas.

"Oh, look, I'm totally buying these, so I can give them to Christos and Dimitry from eachother for Christmas!"

"Loukia. It's October. You have a shopping addiction and you need therapy."

"Therapy costs money, and I don't have enough money, remember?"

I buy the trucks.

And I remind myself to avoid bringing my little practical sister shopping with me again. Because that was a ruined shopping experience. Talk about unhappy ending! I got what I wanted, but it came at a price, and it wasn't the most enjoyable way to spend money. I hate having to justify my purchases.

Makes me want a refund on the whole experience. Next time, I'm doing it alone. It's always a better time and I always leave a satisfied customer!

A whole new world

2009-10-22T08:25:00.015-04:00

This week I have had the opportunity to read some excellent blog posts about motherhood, courtesy of Jill from Scary Mommy, because she is holding a Scary Mommy contest, (the winner gets to have their post on the Motherhood website, under Eliza's blog - you know, Uma's character in the movie? Sweet! And? A flip video camera!) The entries have been incredible to read through - and I have also loved all the comments my post has received... thank you!

In keeping with excellent writing assignments this week, the lovely Mama Kat is having a contest of her own, and has posed the question: How has Motherhood changed you?

How has Motherhood changed me? It has changed me in ways I never thought possible. It changes me everyday. Life for me in certainly not the same as it was before becoming a mom. The most obvious change has been the incredible amount of love I have for my children. Never a second goes by that they are not in my thoughts, when I'm not with them; and when I'm with them, I can't get enough of looking at them, hugging and kissing them, and telling them how much I love them. I sometimes sit back and am amazed that I created these perfect little boys - boys with smiles that melt my heart, boys with strong and funny personalities, boys who are, well... mine.

Besides all the wonderful and joyful moments that come with motherhood - there is another side too, a side filled with worry and fear that no one can possibly relate to until they enter the crazy world of motherhood. It's probably the the thing I like least about being a mother - but it comes with the territory. It's a constant worry, a constant fear. I once said that the only time I will stop worrying about my children is when I pass away. Even then... doubtful. It is time consuming, and even if I'm out with friends having a good time, my children are always in my thoughts. You can also feel on a deeper level - I feel connected to other mothers, and their problems, although not my own, are felt deeply. I cry at commercials more often. I'm am emotional wreck, most of the time.

How else how motherhood changed me? I am more responsible. There is no room for error here - I can't screw this up. Not in a major way, anyway. I'm the pilot, the captain, the air traffic controller. I must be 'on' 24 hours a day. No calling in sick, folks. Motherhood is the real deal. You don't get a day off. Sure, you can get a weekend away with friends, or you can go to work for a few hours a day, but you're still 'on' - phoning home, shopping for your children, planning the week ahead. It's a full-time job! I'm changed because before becoming a mom my responsibilities were not as important.

Motherhood has also made me realize the value of time. You know how in the army they do more before 6 a.m. than most people do in a day? Well, the same is true for motherhood! It is truly a phenomena how MUCH we get done as mothers every single day. We wake up early, get ourselves and our children ready, feed everyone breakfast, get everyone dressed, break up fights, play with our children, prepare snacks and lunch, take them to school, or to the museum, change a few diapers, clean up, pick the children up from school, play, do crafts, prepare dinner, break up another fight, clean the house, put away laundry, feed everyone dinner, clean up, bathe the children, read books, and put the kids to bed. At the end of the night, I'm exhausted! Remember when you used to complain about being tired before having children? That is such a joke now. Really. I remember those days well. Staying up all night studying and being tired the next day? Nothing in comparison to when a mom is tired. We can't just nap if we want to. We have to be cheerful! all! the! time!

Motherhood has changed my views on things, too. I used to complain about the city I lived in because it wasn't that exciting. Now, as a mother, I see the value of living in a city that has plenty for children to do, has an amazing children's hospital, beautiful parks and museusm, and wonderful schools.I feel safe here. Now, instead of complaining, I am thankful about where I live.

Motherhood has also made me a more patient person. A person who can be on time. A person who can looked pulled together on a maximum of 4 hours sleep - broken sleep, I might add. A person who can mult-task like never before. I am a diaper-changing, nose-wiping, boo-boo kissing champion, a milk pouring, potty-training, clothes changing, laundry folding expert. I am a human vacuum cleaner. I have become fascinated by constuction sites and value the work construction workers do. I know the difference between an excavator, a bulldozer and a front-end loader. And trust me, I am put in my place if I get it wrong! I protect and teach and guide my children, I show them right from wrong, and I am their favourite playmate.

Motherhood has ultimately made me a stronger and more capable person. I feel like an accomplished person because I am a mother. The greatest joy of all!

I'm one very "Scary Mommy"

2009-10-19T10:06:00.001-04:00

The fabulous Jill from Scary Mommy is having a contest to find someone else who fits the descption of 'Scary Mommy'. What is a 'Scary Mommy', you ask? Well, according to Jill, it is the definition of the anti-perfect mommy. The mom who loves her children more than anything else in the entire universe, but well, lacks something called 'perfection.'

I'm one heck of a "Scary Mommy".

I woke up to the sound of two boys calling for me: "Mama! Mommy! Mommy! Mama!" I glance to my left, and my youngest son is looking at me with a big smile. I look up at the clock - 7 a.m. "Damn it," I uttered under my breath. Yet another day that I forgot to get up before the children to get things - and me - ready before our day begins. I pick up my baby, and go to his big brother's room, where I try to get them ready for the day ahead. I've grown accustomed to showering in 5 minutes while my baby plays with things like tampons and floss on the floor in my bathroom. And I tell myself, yet again, that one of these days, I'll become 'that mom' - the one who rises before her children, showers in peace, prepares breakfast, does a load of laundry and works out - all before her children get up. However, I know in my heart that's a very unlikely scenario. I'm just too tired!

I love my children more than anything else on earth, but I'm far from perfect. I swear in front of my children. I yell too much. I sometimes rely on the television to entertain my kids so I can finish the housework. I've left the house with a messy ponytail in my hair. I do things I'm not proud of, things that make me a 'Scary Mommy'.

While there is nothing I enjoy more than being with my children, I have been known to take the easy route many times to avoid total meltdowns when we're out in public. For instance, if we are in a toy store, and my boys are filling the cart with items they want to buy, I will generally buy them whatever their little hearts desire. Why? Not because we need another bulldozer or two or three in the house, but because if I say 'no', they will be heartbroken, they will love me less (at least for the time being) and they will cry. Or lay on the ground and scream and kick and yell. Or all of the above. To avoid this, I do what any 'not perfect' mom would do - I give in. And we all leave happy.

I have also been known to let my boys raid the 'junk food' drawer at home right before bedtime. If they want to eat Dunkaroos, so be it. Orange frosting and cookies as a snack before bedtime makes them happy, and I'm okay with that. No perfect mom would allow these types of snacks to even enter her house!

If I need a few more minute online, I will give my youngest son a chocolate pudding and let him eat it by himself. He's very independent, you know. And the mess? Oh, the mess! I bet no perfect mother has to deal with this type of high chair clean-up, right? But see... I'm no perfect mom. Chocolate pudding allows me time on the Internet!

My children are also very familiar with Starbucks. In fact, I can bet large sums of money that both my children were saying 'Starbucks' around the same time they learned how to say 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'. And sometimes, they'll even have a sip or two of my warm beverage. But often times, I'll buy them their own kid's hot chocolate. While other 'perfect' moms might think this is not a good idea, I love it - and so do they.

If we are out of town, a stop at Krispy Kreme is always in order, too. Who doesn't enjoy sinking their teeth into a warm donut? A donut that has too many grams of fat and too many calories to even mention here, but hey - I'm a 'Scary Mommy', remember? And I let my children indulge in food other 'perfect' moms try to avoid!

My children are also not the most well-behaved when out in public. I, as their mother, even let them to play 'bookstore' when we're in book stores... they have fun, even though they make a huge mess. Allowing them to do whatever they want makes things easier for me. I pick my battles. I have enough on my plate already!

And I always manage to snap a picture of one of my children when they're crying, instead of trying to console them, because there is nothing more cute than a picture of a crying baby who is getting a haircut! Unless, of course, you're a 'perfect mom', and therefore, would probably not even think of taking a picture like this.

I sometimes allow my children to do dangerous things, too, because I know they'll be really happy. Like the time we got really close to a construction site and I let my son sit on a huge bulldozer. Just look at that smile... something a 'perfect mom' wound never allow!

I have done some pretty incredible things since becoming a mom. I rarely say no, I am not good at sticking to the rules I try to enforce, I complain almost as much as my children, I hide the last chocolate so I can eat it, and I have let my boys go days without taking a bath. Sometimes, there is just not enough time in the day! The same pajamas might be worn two nights in a row. Nothing in the house of 'off-limits'. Except the alcohol cabinet.

There was a time where my oldest son refused to take a bath. We had to think of some really creative ways to get him into the tub - like letting him take a container of whipped cream into the bathtub with him. He did this for months. He would eat whipped cream, I would wash his hair. Then we moved on to food colouring, where he would take a bath in blue and green water. Hey - this 'Scary Mommy' has tried it all - and no matter how ridiculous it might sound to you, these things have worked for me.

And while other children's moms will always bring an extra change of clothes with them in case their children get really dirty, I let my little ones run around with candy apple stains all over them.

I let my boys help in the grocery store, too. Which means letting them loose in the fruit and vegetable aisle, where they always manage to pull the plastic bags out a bit too much...

I also let my children sit and play in the kitchen sink. Sometimes, I'll even feed them while they're playing in the sink. As a distraction. And it works.

I'm a 'Scary Mommy' - a mommy who loves her boys so much it is actually... well, scary. And all these little things I don't do perfectly? I do them with love. I'd rather be a 'Scary Mommy', anyway.

My two peas in a pod

2009-10-16T11:41:00.015-04:00

Being the mother of two young boys means that if they are awake, they are constantly on the go. They are very active, and it is almost impossible to keep up with them.

And the house? As much as I try to pick up after them, it is always such a mess. For about one hour after our housekeeper has gone home, our home looks very neat and tidy - sort of how it looked before we had children in the house. I take the time and enjoy the neatness, because I know it's not going to last. It truly is amazing how much craziness two little boys can get into!

But when the house is messy, and when the boys are running around playing, I enjoy it, too. I might complain as the mess is being made, but then I hear something like:

"Dimitry! Come here and jump on the couch with me!"

And I see my baby running towards his big brother, laughing, and jumping with him. Having fun. Two brothers having a great time.

I've made an observation lately, one that really warms my heart. My boys are playing together and they are enjoying eachother's company. They are friends. Christos is a very protective and caring older brother, and Dimitry looks up to Christos. They love eachother. And it's amazing to witness their relationship blossom.

They sometimes hold hand when they're walking outside. "Christos, hold your brothers hand," I say to him. And Dimitry looks up with his big brown eyes, and grabs on to his brother's hand, tightly. Watching them walking in front of me, I get all emotional, because it's just... awesome.

Seeing them interact nicely with on another is a welcome relief from the times they fight and get mad at eachother, which, for the record, is still a common occurance in our house. (It's amazing that, despite a house filled with more toys and books than a toystore itself, they will both want to play with the same thing at the same time!)

But more often than not, they are together, and they are happy. This morning, Christos gave Dimitry a gentle kiss on his tummy and needless to say, this melted me. I hope their relationship continues to grow, and that they remain best friends forever, because there is no bond like that between two siblings. It's simply amazing to see my children growing right before my eyes.

Totally shifting gears here... but I was interviewed on sweetmama.ca and you can read my interview here!

Motherhood

2009-10-15T11:49:00.013-04:00

There is a new movie coming out called Motherhood starring Uma Thurman. Uma plays a mom... but not just any mom - she's a mom who blogs! How much do you want to bet I'll be first in line to see this movie? A lot of great bloggers I know are involved in the promotion of this movie, and some even got to meet Uma Thurman and Minnie Driver in New York City. How cool is that?

In honor of Motherhood, Mama Kat's writing assignment this week is to write about your mom. I thought this was a great idea, because, well, I love my mom!

Describe a moment when you realized your mom was more than just a mom.

I can't answer this with just one moment, because my mom has always been more than just a mom to me. My mom and I have a very close relationship - closer than most people I know. In fact, some would say we are too close, because we see eachother almost every single day and when we're not together, we are on the phone with one another. Not only is she a fantastic mom who has done everything for me, she is also the greatest grandmother there is. My boys are madly in love with their yiayia, and she showers them in such love, it is amazing to see. I still hope to one day be as great a mom as she is.

My typical day begins with a phone call to my mom, on the days she's not over to babysit. After I've kissed my children goodbye, and I'm on the way to work, I call her.

"How did the boys sleep? Did they wake up a lot at night? Did they eat a good breakfast?" Those are the typical questions that are asked within seconds. My mom, even though she is a full-time artist and career woman, babysits for us 3 days a week. I don't know how she does it all, to be honest... she even makes wonderful home-cooked meals for us to enjoy every night.

My mom is also a great teacher. She has taught me so much about life, she has dried my tears many times, and she is contantly teaching my children new things. She talks to my boys as her equal, and talks to them about important things. Even going on a walk with my mom is an educational adventure - my oldest son and my mom will talk about a tree, the falling leaves, or the changing weather. My mom will get in her car with my son to follow a street sweeper for 45 minutes just because it makes my boy happy.

She is always suggesting new places to take my children, and when she's with her grandchildren, she is fully hands-on - reading with them, playing with them, painting with them. She even finds it in her to take them swimming alone! She spoils them silly, but I don't mind. She never says no - and while this can be a problem at times, I understand how hard saying 'no' can be.

We also almost always travel together. My husband has gotten used to this arrangement, and truly? Best way to travel!

My mom is the one I go to when I need advice on anything. She is my best friend, and we've never had anything short of a great relationship. I am proud to be her daughter, and even though we also, being Greek, yell and fight, it's never anything that isn't forgotten about 2 seconds later. We are dramatic, and we are loud, but we're happy. And we're happiest when we're all together, as a family.

My mom is more than just a mom because there is nothing she can't do. She's driven, she's successful, she's a go-getter, she's a cook, a cleaner, a babysitter, and an all-around terrific person.

My three favourite books

2009-10-14T09:34:00.008-04:00

One of the things I love most about being a mom is spending time with my children reading to them. To foster their love of reading is amazing. If I catch either of my boys with a book in their hands, I sit back and watch them as they look at the pictures, turn the pages, and get lost in the story. I'm an avid reader myself, a lover of books, and it brings me great joy to read to my children - it's one of the most important things you can do as a parent.

My home looks like a library because I buy books all the time. I think a house filled with books makes it a 'home'. I love knowing that my son's bookcases are filled with all kinds of books. And it's money well spent, too. Sure, we do frequent the library, but I love to own the books we love. Books are something that will never lose value.

There are a few books that are truly special to me, books I can barely read to my boys because I always end up crying and having to wipe away my tears.

The books that I hope my children will enjoy reading when they're older, when they can fully grasp the meaning behind them, and when they have their own children, are:

The Giving Tree
Love You Forever
Someday

Someday is a book by Alison McGhee. I first saw this book in the bookstore over a year ago, and I picked it up and started to read it. I instantly started to cry. I put the book down. Every time I was in the bookstore, I'd pick it up, read it again, and cry. I finally bought the book. I was torn, though - I didn't know if I should buy two copies or just one because I want my children to take this book when they're older to pass it on to their children, too. If you haven't read this book yet, I highly recommend it. I am warning you, though - you will have tears streaking down your face, so make sure to have a few tissues handy!

An excerpt from Someday:

"One day, I counted your fingers and kissed each one.
One day, the first snowflakes fell, and I held you up and watched them melt on your baby skin.
One day, we crossed the street and you held my hand tight. Then, you were my baby, and now you are my child. Sometimes when you sleep, I watch you dream, and I dream, too."

And it keeps getting better. It's the most beautiful book I've ever read. The author perfectly captured with words and emotion how a mother feels about her child. It's a book to cherish.

During an interview with the author, Alison McGhee said: "...once you have a baby, you're filled with that overwhelming love. And you're also filled with fear all the time, because you love something so much. And maybe it was a way for me to understand what John Keats' called negative capability - that ability to hold contradictory thoughts in your mind simultaneously. You know, I love this child more than anything and I want to keep this child safe. In order to keep this child safe, this child needs the strength to go live her own life fearlessly."

Well said, wouldn't you agree? It is a book that will pull on your heart strings, but perhaps not a book to read to very young children.

The book The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein is a classic. I remember reading this book when I was young, probably in grade 4 or 5. My son received this book for his birthday last year, and I recently started reading it to him. The Giving Tree is about a little boy and his relationship with a tree. A tree that for years provides him with a place to sit, apples to eat, branches to swing from, and more. As the boy gets older, he needs the tree less... and as the boy gets older, so does the tree, until the tree feels he can offer nothing more to the boy. This book shows how life goes from being innocent and easy to more challenging and hard. It's a truly touching book, one that everyone should own because it tells a beautiful story with a beautiful message.

Of course, if you're a mom, you probably already own Love You Forever. I bought this for my oldest son for his first Christmas, and I have a hard time reading it without getting teary. You probably know this off by heart:

"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
as long as I'm living
my baby you'll be."

My 4 year old likes me reading this book to him now. He especially likes the part when the little boys make a big mess in the bathroom... because it's something he can totally relate to!

These are the three books I think everyone should have in their home 'library', because these books are beautifully written stories and classics that can be enjoyed for years to come.

Do you have a special book you will always cherish or a book you love sharing with your child?

I'm good in the kitchen now, too!

2009-10-13T10:34:00.003-04:00

The task at hand was not too difficult. It had been done before by mothers around the world, so I knew I could do it with some concentration, too. I didn't want to be that 'mom', you know? The one who wouldn't even try. The one who complained she couldn't do it. The one who gave up too easily, the one who would give in and find a more simple solution. No, this time, I was going to go through with it. No matter how bad the end result might be, there was no stopping me.

I told my husband to leave the house, to go to Starbucks, as I know in mere minutes the state of the kitchen would look as if a tornado had passed by, and I wanted to avoid any and all discussions about why I had even bothered.

I found what I was looking for in a cookbook I took from my mother-in-law's house. A recipe. A recipe for a simple dessert that most people love to eat. Carrot cake. A somewhat, um, healthy dessert.

I gathered the ingredients I needed, and bought what I didn't already have at home. My oldest son got to work with me. He peeled and grated all the carrots. At one point, I said to him: "Sweetie, I think we have enough carrots. We only need 2 cups." And he, my darling son, said: "No, mommy. When I made this cake with yiayia the other day, we used way more carrots than this!"

Thankfully, my son, my 4 year old son, was right. He peeled and grated more carrots.

Then... we started to bake the cake. And it was... simple, actually. All I had to do was read and follow the instructions. Although, to be quite honest, I didn't follow them exactly as the book said. For instance, when it said to mix the butter and cream cheese together first and then add the icing sugar for the icing? I added all the ingredients together at the same time. I don't think this really mattered, though, because it tasted great in the end!

And after 35 minutes of the cake sitting in the oven, I realized I hadn't really turned it on. I did something, because it was warm, but it was not where it needed to be - at 350F. So, anyway, in the end? The cake turned out perfect. It tasted amazing. And everyone enjoyed it at our big Thanksgiving feast yesterday!

Now that I have baked for pretty much the first time ever, my confidence has grown in the kitchen. I can totally do it again! Just keep me away from anything Martha Stewart - I'm never going to be that good!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-10-09T13:05:00.003-04:00

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving. Actually, Monday is officially Thanksgiving, but I'm writing this post a little early because I know I'll be too busy to write anything this weekend!

I hope you all take the time to look around and say thanks for all the small things, for all the blessings, for all you have!

I'm thankful for:

A wonderful, loving, caring, and giving family who is always there for me. The bond my family has is so strong and I'm thankful for every single family member! I'm truly blessed.

My husband, who puts up with me every day and cooks for our family.

My children... I'm most thankful for my children, my darling boys. The love I have for them can not be described in words and the love I feel as a mother is so strong my heart feels like it's going to explode a million times a day!

I'm also thankful to live in this great country. We are blessed to live here. The quality of life we have, the health care, although not perfect, our education system, our parks, our museums, our trees - O Canada, indeed!

And I'm thankful for other things, too...

I'm thankful for some great fall tv shows, like Glee! And the fact that we are getting a Bath and Body Works, and that my favourite mall keeps opening up more great stores so I can blow my money on, and I'm thankful for Starbucks caramel macchiato. I'm thankful for great friends, and wonderful bloggers, and comments and my iphone and the fact that Christmas is around the corner. I'm thankful for good home cooked meals and chocolate and I'm thankful for songs that make me smile.

I'm thankful for everything, big and small. This weekend, I will not complain at all, about anything. That is my Thanksgiving challenge! And as for dieting... well, that can be put on the shelf right next to 'do not complain'!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Thankful

2009-10-08T11:07:00.014-04:00

First there was one,
and he was so much fun.
I learned something new every day.
The panic and fear was here to stay,
but the love was real when I watched him play.

Then there was two, and life changed again,
but the love in my heart blossomed like a flower in May.

These two boys, the loves of my life, remind me of summer and everything nice.
There is no greater joy than that of a mother, to see her children playing nicely together.

The laughter, the smiles, they warm me to pieces.
And watching them sleep always leaves me speechless.

A mother's love is like no other,
the feeling of pride she feels for her young,

And even when the day is long,
and even when your sanity is gone,
and even with marker all over the wall,
Just take a look at what you have, and be thankful,
for being a mother is the greatest gift of all!

Note to self: Don't quite your day job, Loukia. A poet you are not! This post was prompted from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, but instead of writing a poem about summer, I wrote a poem about being a mom... something I love more than summer! Also, it's national poetry day! So, happy poetry day to all you good poets out there!

Don't sweat the small stuff

2009-10-07T13:57:00.003-04:00

My son has been in kindergarten for almost one month now. It has, so far, gone exceptionally well - he loves school, and he's even beginning to open up about his day with me. I love hearing him talk about school! And I know he's happy there. But today? Today was a tough day. He just didn't want to go to school. And if you know my son, you'll know that once his mind is made up about something, there is almost nothing you can do to change it. He's very stubborn that way. Hmm... I wonder where he gets it from?

I was on my way to work when I got a call from my mom. She was trying to figure out how to work the DVD player, because Christos wanted to watch Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. She knew it was not a good idea to put the movie on, since it was 15 minutes before the time they had to leave for school, and I told her she should just talk him out of watching the movie and just get in the car to go to school. I could hear him saying "NO!" in the background.

I turned around and drove back home. I wanted to make sure he went to school, as I knew it was going to be 'one of those' mornings.

When I got home, he was riding his bicycle around the block. He told me he didn't want to go to school. I told him he had no choice, and that he had to go. I talked to him calmly, I reasoned with him, I told him he could come home after and play.

"No, I'm not going to school today."

That was pretty much it. I tried some more. I yelled, I even screamed. I threatened to call his teacher, even. I was at the end of my rope. I picked him up. He went limp, and he slithered out of my arms, and started to cry.

I was upset that this was happening, as we have had no problems yet with him going to school. But? Of course days like this are to be expected. And after a certain point, I think you just have to realize it's okay. It's one day. He's in junior kindergarten. And he'll go to school tomorrow. Was it worth it for me to continue pleading with him to go to school today? I didn't think so. I know tomorrow will be a better day. (It better be - it's picture day!) He's just a child, and he just wanted to play and go to the museum with his brother.

I kissed and hugged him, and told him tomorrow he was going to school.

"Okay, mommy!" he said, happily.

Yes, he won. And I'm okay with that. I know this won't happen often, and I know other kids sometimes don't feel like going to school, either. We really shouldn't sweat the small stuff.

What I'm really sweating over? What he should wear for picture day tomorrow! How stressful of an experience is that going to be? Any chance the school will let me in to stand behind the cameraman to make sure my son is smiling? And to make sure his collar is just right, and to make sure his hair looks good? Hmm... didn't think so, either.

Excitement. Panic. Realization. Calmness.

2009-10-06T11:26:00.005-04:00

It happens around this time of year.

The stores are decked out for the holidays, Christmas trees are displayed, winter clothes are being worn, and shopping lists are being planned - the 'I want and I wish' lists, and the 'I can't wait to buy this for my children' lists.

Holiday outfits are being bought, but more importantly, the idea of actually starting that diet has taken over your thoughts. In order to fit into a really pretty party dress - whether to go to a party or to entertain for friends at home - you first have to fit into this dress. With new shoes, of course. So, the diet commences pretty much NOW in order to look your best two months down the road.

The idea of hosting a big Christmas party, a party you've always hosted and had great success with before having children, becomes a possibility in your mind again, knowing that your children could spend the night at their grandparent's house. You start thinking up your 'invitation' list - 8 to 10 couples, with a few other friends, should make for a very festive party. You remember how much fun hosting those big holiday parties were, and you fall into 'planning a party' mode.

You look for the perfect invitations.

Then you buy all the holiday baking magazines you buy every year, except this year, this year you vow to actually make something more than just sugar cookies with sprinkles on top. You, being the brave woman you are, visit your friend Martha's website. Where you are not only overwhelmed and depressed with all her organization tips, her holiday decorating ideas that are sure to make you declare bankruptcy, and her neat wrapping suggestions, but oh, the cookies! You tell yourself you can actually do more this year. There are dozens of cookies to make, all so very pretty. Recipe in hand, you begin to read:

Keep your gingerbread people looking their best: Make sure the disks of dough are well-chilled so they're easy to handle and roll out nice and thin. Roll from the centre out, and aim for an even thickness, stopping just short of the edge of the dough. A quick dip in flour wil keep the cookie cutter from sticking to the dough. look for powdered egg whites in the baking aisle at your supermarket. Prep time: 55 minutes. Total: 1 Hour, 15 minutes, plus chilling.

You begin to sweat, and your nose gets itchy, the way it used to in math class when you never knew the answer. You are under pressure, as you now not only have to become a great baker, but you have to 'keep your gingerbread people looking their best'. You can't even keep yourself looking your best on most days! You realize that this was just the beginning - not even the actual steps for baking the stupid gingerbread men!

Screw that.

You look up the best caterer in town and call up your best friend, who is great at baking, asking her to supply your party with yummy treats.

You know you've made the attempt. And maybe next year you'll move on to something more than sugar cookies, but for now? Right now, your children need you and playing with them? Is way more fun then being a slave in the kitchen!

A lesson learned

2009-10-05T09:09:00.001-04:00

You must know by now that crazy things always happen to me and my family. We are the ones who will almost miss a flight, the ones who will accidentally lock the baby in a 19th floor hotel room, and the ones who will panic over everything. We are Greek, and overly dramatic. We are our very own comedy show.

One New Year's Eve, while leaving the hair salon to go to my parents to get dressed, I hit a car. I decided to continue driving home, because getting out of my car would mean I'd be late and more importantly, ruin my hair. (Don't hate me. I was much younger then, and it was a minor accident!) Also? It's a known fact that New Year's Eve in this city is the coldest day of the year. I got home and as I was running upstairs to get dressed, I sort of told to my parents that I sort of hit someone's car.

Then, the doorbell rang. 2 police officers were at the door, having looked up my license plate number.

My mother and grandmother greeted them at the door, festive music playing in the background. I came downstairs to talk to them. I explaned how I didn't stop at the scene of the accident because I didn't want to ruin my hair, since it was New Year's Eve and all. They laughed. They were offered some kourabies,(Greek sugar cookies) and after they ate them, told me to be more careful next time, and they were on their way.

Things like this always happen to me.

Like last Christmas Eve, Dimitry's first Christmas. We were at my parents house, and Dimitry was taking a nap in the crib upstairs. He woke up, crying. I rushed into the room and noticed his leg was stuck in between the crib rails. I tried to get his leg free, but it would not budge. He was really stuck. He started crying even more, and my panic level began to rise.

"Call 911!" I yell to my mom.
"His leg is stuck! We need some help!"

My mom, panicked herself, calls 911 and tells them what's going on. In the meantime, I somehow managed to get his leg free.

"Never mind! He's okay! His leg is okay!"

My mom told the 911 operators that everything was now okay, however, because the call was placed, and because it involved a young baby, they dispatched emergency workers anyway.

Within minutes, the fire fighters arrived at my mom's house. Imagine Christos's delight to see a shiny red fire truck in front of his grandparent's house on Christmas Eve! It was like an early present.

The fire fighters came in, and again, we offered them some food, since that's what Greek people do. After our short visit with the fire fighters, and after all the craziness, we sat down to our Christmas Eve dinner, laughing about the the experience we just had.

Lesson learned? Always have yummy homemade food prepared in case emergency workers come to your house during the holidays!

Communication breakdown

2009-10-02T11:36:00.003-04:00

Information I have learned from my son about school:

"I love school!"

Information my husband has learned from my son about school:

"I have a 'girl' friend."

"I was the friend of the day yesterday, and I got to hold the flag!"

"We went to the gym today, but we didn't do anything except sit down and stand up to sing O Canada and even the big kids were in the gym and then we went back to our classroom."

"There is a time out chair and I have never had to sit in it, but another boy sits in it all the time"

"I have used the bathroom a few times."

"I worked on my tree craft today."

Yeah... so. I guess I am happy that he is loving kindergarten, but I really would love it if my son told ME all this other stuff! I need a new communication strategy to get him to be more vocal with me!

Any tips, moms?

A gift from me to you

2009-10-01T10:29:00.005-04:00

You know what always make me feel better when I am feeling down?

Spending time with my children. It is the best thing in the world, you know? Talking to them, laughing with them, playing together, reading, snuggling, and cuddling. Just being together.

You know what else makes me happy? Comments on my blog. I love each and every one of you for taking the time to write comments on my blog posts. Every comment I receive is like getting an amazing birthday present. I am very thankful for all the comment love! I truly love everything about blogging, (well, maybe not the drama) and knowing that you like reading what I have to write is wonderful and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Speaking of warm and fuzzy... shopping is another thing I love to do when I'm feeling down, especially when the weather takes a turn for the worse. Doesn't shopping make you feel good, too? And as much as I complain about the cold, I DO love fall clothes - the boots and the soft sweaters and all the nice party dresses for the holidays!

And you know what looks great with that new party dress? Some new makeup, of course! From one of my favourite stores - Sephora. Walking into Sephora is totally orgasmic, you know? Well, almost. It's like, a little bit of heaven. The choices and selections are endless and you will always leave a happy customer. Your 'size' is always in stock, baby!

As a thank you to you - my fabulous readers - I'd like to give away a 40 dollar gift certificate to you from Sephora! It's my way of saying THANK YOU. I don't often email people back after they leave me comments, but I wanted you to know that all your comments mean so much to me!

So...thanks.

And? Happy shopping!

To enter, just, well, leave a comment telling me you follow my blog!

GOOD LUCK! I'll randomly pick a winner on Monday!

Edited to add: The winner was lucky number 41! I couldn't copy and paste a picture of number 41, as chosen by random.org, so I took a picture of the screen of my computer and posted it on Twitter in case anyone wanted to see! Oh yeah - number 41 was the lovely McMommy! Thanks everyone for playing! I love you all!

The dreaded months ahead

2009-09-30T10:12:00.009-04:00

Today I woke up and I was cold. And it hit me like a ton of bricks that summer was over. I guess because we are now officially in October. Not counting today, of course. I never count the day we're in, for some reason. It makes the week go by faster, I swear. Like, really, there is only one day left before the weekend if you do Loukia math. Try it! It really works! Sorry... where was I?

Oh, yes. Summer is over, fall is here, and winter is literally around the corner. I despise winter. I do. I'm Canadian by birth, but by blood? I'm Greek. I am not meant to live in such a cold climate! Every year, I complain about our brutal winter. And let me tell you - it it BRUTAL. It's harsh. It's mean, it's cruel. The sun goes down around 4:30 p.m. and we're left to drive home in the dark, eat dinner in the dark, play in the dark. No more nice after dinner walks to the park, no more running outside freely with only a tshirt on, no more swimming, no more making sand castles, no more pushing the kids on the swings, no more lovely bike rides, no more BBQing almost daily, no more nice tanned skin, and no more flip flops.

Nope. None of that.

Instead, we have to dress our children in layers of clothing, and find the perfect pair of boots for them to wear. And I'm not talking about style here - I'm talking about comfort, warmth, and the ability to be able to get them on and off little feet several times a day without a huge effort. Boots are not easy! So the search for the perfect pair each year is a daunting task. Once you have the boots, you can have more fun looking for a snowsuit. This year I bought Christos a beautiful one from Columbia, but normally, I like the ones from GAP. Dimitry has a red snowsuit this winter. Christso also has a super warm Burberry coat that I just love to pieces. Then? We move on to hats, gloves, mitts, scarves, and neck warmers.

Getting two children dressed in winter gear is quite an adventure. Especially first thing in the morning, when the sun has not even made an appearance yet.

"Christos, come back! Your snowpants are only halfway up!"
"Oh, you have to pee? Sigh. Take off the snowpants, then."
"Dimitry, shall we try to get your boots on again?"
"Oh, no, sweetheart, don't take your hat off!"
"I know you're hot now but as soon as we step outside, you'll be thanking me for dressing you up like the abominable snowman!"
"Christos, don't throw your brothers boots down the stairs!"
"Dimitry, where is your hat? Where did it go?"
"Christos, you might think it's funny to take off your coat, but mommy doesn't see the humour in this!

This, my friends, is what it is like for 5 long months. I have yet to meet a mother who enjoys the process of getting their child dressed for the winter elements.

Okay, fine, they do look super cute in when they're all dressed up, but still.

And yes, I do begrudgingly do the 'Canadian winter' things with my children, like visits to the neighbourhood skating rink, where we last about 10 minutes, and visits to Winterlude, where again, we last for 10 minutes (and always leave with a few beavertails) and we do play outside, building snowman's and making snow angels and shovelling. And even though we're having fun while we're out there, all I'm thinking about is the nice cup of hot chocolate that I'll be drinking later, and our upcoming winter vacation to a sunny and warm destination, like Florida. That's what keeps me sane. Knowing that winter will not last forever. Although really, it drags on. And on. And on.

I am not meant to live in this part of the world. Seriously. You'd think I'd be used winter by now! But every year, there is that one day when I wake up and realize: "I'm cold! Oh, no... summer is over!" And today, my friends? Today was that day.

But? I'll leave you with a few things that make me happy about the winter season to come, just so you don't think I'm completely ungrateful:

1. Christmas! Okay, I love everything about this holiday. Even more since having children, because really? It is all about them! Putting up the Christmas tree together, decorating our house, hanging the lights around our columns and tree outside, and of course, of course, the shopping. OH, the shopping! I love Christmas shopping and I love wrapping presents and I love Christmas songs! Ho-ho-ho! Seriously. I can't wait.

2. RED CUPS AT STARBUCKS! I love red cups at Starbucks, and that is actually one of the biggest things I look forward to every year with the changing of the seasons. Yay! Doesn't that make you so excited?

3. A possibly winter vacation somewhere warm and hot and sandy. This truly helps allieviate my Seasonal Adaptation Disorder!

The seven stages of (shopping) grief

2009-09-28T08:34:00.001-04:00

You know when you go shopping to buy something specific? You are a woman on a mission, and you will not stop until you find just what you are looking for. In your mind, you will walk into your favourite store, and the first thing you'll see when you walk in will be 'the item' that you have so desired. You walk quickly, with a light bounce in your step, because you're happy. Shopping always makes you happy, and today is no exception.

Well. The other day, I went shopping to buy a new pair of pants from one of my favourite stores, and I thought I'd have a great shopping experience, leaving with a pair of brown wide-legged trouser pants. Instead, after searching through the entire store, I came to the sad realization that I was not going to leave a happy customer.

The only pants they had that closely resembled what I wanted to buy were size 0, 2, and 4. Even if you add the 4 and 2 together, you would still not get my size number.

I was quite upset. And I went through the 7 Stages of Grief due to this unforeseen experience.

Shock: What? Are you kidding me? These pants only come in a size 2? What's going on here? How could this be? But I'm here to buy some pants! I need these pants!

Denial: There is no way, that in this entire store, there is no size (as if I'd tell you) pants in the style that I want. No way. I will continue looking. I'm sure I am just not reading right. I'll start all over again, and go through every pair, just to make sure, because I'm not believing this right now. No way.

Anger: Okay, Banana, what's the freaking deal? I'm your number one customer! You are the reason my credit card is maxed! How can you treat me like this? Don't you see how badly I need these pants? What happened to us? How could you? Just what am I going to wear to work on Monday? I have no clothes! This is so unfair. Life is cruel. I hate you, Banana!

Guilt: If only I was a size 2 or 4. Then I wouldn't have this stupid problem to begin with. It's all my fault. I feel so guilty for eating all those mini chocolates during Grey's Anatomy. If I didn't eat like a 15 year old boy, I probably could fit my Hellenic hips into a size 4. It's all my fault. Clearly everyone is a size 2 and 4 because that is all I'm seeing. I suck. I must start dieting right away.

Pain and Sorrow: I guess I'm not getting these brown pants today, after all. I'm so sad. I was looking forward to a future with these beautiful pants, to be worn with my new green cashmere sweater from J.Crew. Now, I have nothing. It hurts so bad. Must remedy this feeling by buying some chocolate.

Release and Resolution: Sigh. Okay, Banana. I forgive you. I'll just buy these grey trouser pants instead. They're nice. And they fit. I will be back, though. And the next time I'm here, I hope you'll have more pants in the size I wear. I will be okay. I'm strong. I will hold my head up high and move on to the shoe store.

Return to the Willingness to Love: Oh, hello beautiful black booties... I love you! You make me so happy! And, oh, what? You DO come in my size? Thank you God! Life is grand.

The post where I admit more about my neurotic self

2009-09-25T11:20:00.013-04:00

I can be a control freak sometimes.

Okay, most of the time.

Fine. All of the time.

My friends all know this about me, and yet, they still love me. Thank you, friends!

I like to get my way. I want things to go my way, all the time. I want to go wherever I say, I want to eat what I'm craving, I want to shop where I like, and I want people to always agree with everything I say. I love having heated discussions about things, and I love trying to influence people to see my side of the story. I want people to agree with me.

I can get annoyed if someone doesn't like the same shows I watch. Or shop where I like to shop. And I will never understand how someone doesn't enjoy eating pizza. Or how someone can vote for a different political party than me.

Sometimes I like to control other people's lives, as well. Like my sister's. For instance, if she were to tell me she was going to watch the new Jennifer Aniston movie I'd get mad at her and tell her she is wasting her money and time because practically no movie that Jennifer Aniston is in is any good, and then I'd tell her which movies are out right now that are worth seeing. Seeing how I don't get to go to the movies as often as I used to before I became a mom, I get really sensitive when she wastes her time watching something that wouldn't be as good as something else, you know? Oh, this doesn't happen to you? Oh.

My issues run deep.

I sometimes wish I could also go up to complete strangers to offer them nice suggestions and advice.

Like about what they're wearing, and how they can improve their look. I would love to be able to go up to a girl who is wearing a skirt the size of a... hand towel and tell her that she'd look more respectable, and still sexy, if the skirt was a bit longer.

Another thing that irritates me is when I see a child in an uncomfortable situation.

I hate seeing babies in shopping centres who are dressed in full snowsuits sitting in strollers looking extremely hot. I wish I could go up to their mom, without sounding crazy, to tell her she should undress her child. I know the hassle of getting a child dressed in a snowsuit - it's no fun - but I would never keep my children's coats on while shopping - unless, of course, we were in and out of the store in like, 5 minutes. I feel so bad for these overheated babies and toddlers! Please, moms, take off their coats and snowpants when you're in a hot mall!

Yesterday, I saw a cute baby boy who was taking a nap in his stroller. The poor child's head was just hanging over the side, and the stroller was completely upright. I know this stroller can be lowered a bit to offer some comfort to the sleeping child, and I wanted to go up to the stroller to lower it for him, so he could sleep more comfortably. Of course, I didn't. But it was bothering me all day.

And I hate seeing children lying on the dirty floor of a store, face down. And yes, this has happened to me many times, with my boys. When I see either boy lying on the ground in a public place, I freak out.

"Oh, my God Dimitry! Get up! That is so gross! Don't you realize how dirty the floor is? Oh, my God, just think about all the people who have walked here, and think about the dirt that is on the bottom of their shoes! Like pee! And sickness! And bacteria! Get up! Here is some Purell. Now let's go home and shower."

Okay, maybe I'm not that dramatic, but pretty close. So to the parents of the children who have tantrums in public places, please make sure to wash your child's hands, and give them a nice bubble bath when you get home, okay?

I'm only looking out for your best interest, you know.

And if you don't like Glee? Well, I don't think we can be friends anymore. Just kidding. I'd still love ya.

Memories... of Sweet Valley

2009-09-24T00:48:00.004-04:00

I've always loved reading, every since I can remember. Probably ever since I could read. The first book I remember reading will always have a special place in my heart - Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing by Judy Blume.

You know what other books hold a special place in my heart? The Sweet Valley Twins and Sweet Valley High series. I remember the day I bought my very first one. It was from a small bookstore in a small mall, and I started reading the book that night. I fell in love right away.

As you probably know, the series was about Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield, blonde, blue-eyed California twins. The books were mindless fun, about their adventures in middle school... and all the drama. Well, as much drama as you can have as a 12 year old girl!

Elizabeth was the 'good girl' - the teacher's pet. The one who got A's in school, the one who started up the school newspaper, the sister with big dreams of becoming a writer. She was always rescuing her younger-by-4-minutes sister Jessica, who spent her time shopping, gossiping, and hanging out with the members of the exclusive Unicorn Club. I never did figure out which twin I more closely resembled in character - I think I was a mixture of both, although truly, probably more like Elizabeth, since most nights I'd rather stay in with a good book than go out.

I just want to add here that I also read Wuthering Heights when I was 14 years old, for some credibility. Okay, back to Sweet Valley...

These books were before Beverly Hills 90210, before The O.C., before Gossip Girl - before all that. And yes, I realize they're books, not TV shows, but still. Just like 90210 was a huge part of my Wednesday nights while I was in University, the Sweet Valley books were a huge part of my pre-teenage years. Of course, my friends and I started our very own Unicorn Club, just like we started a Babysitters Club. Both failed miserably, but we tried. I guess I didn't own enough purple clothes!

After reading every single Sweet Valley Twins book, I moved on. Oh yes, it was time for something more grown-up. I graduated to Sweet Valley High, baby!

Sweet Valley High was all about, well, you guessed it - the lives of Elizabeth and Jessica as high school students. And there was some serious drama! Love, betrayal, friendship, heartache, football games, cheerleader practice, school dances, tears, alcohol, drugs and even death.

Amazingly, nobody ever turned 17. For years, everyone was 16 years old. That always irritated me, but I digress.

Sweet Valley High was the grown up version of Sweet Valley Twins. I read almost every single book in the series - and there was well over 150 of them. Regardless of whether or not I could relate to everything in the series, I would always buy the newest book when it came out. Seeing a new book in the bookstore made me so happy! I was like a kid in a candy store...

Now, are you ready for some exciting news? I found out from Scary Mommy on Twitter that Juno writer Diablo Cody is set to write and produce Sweet Valley High for the big screen - and I am so excited about this! (You can even follow the whole gang on Twitter now, too!)

To see Jessica, Elizabeth, Lila, and Todd on the big screen will be awesome. Surely it'll be a good movie, right? At least it will be to all the people who read the books!

I'm feeling very nostalgic right now. And sort of old. I bet the theatre will be packed with more 30 year olds than teenagers, and to be honest? I hope so! I think this movie should cater to the fans of the books, not today's teens. What are today's teens reading now, anyway?

I'm sure I'll be seeing you in line at the box office soon - giggling with excitement and feeling 13 all over again, as we watch the girls we grew up with come to life.

Reflections

2009-09-22T12:28:00.001-04:00

One summer, while waiting in the Heathrow airport after a vacation in Greece, I bumped into not one but two high school classmates who were going back home after being in Portugal and Ireland. The three of us talked about what a coincidence it was that we were all taking the same flight back to Canada.

I was calm and cool on the outside, laughing and talking, but really, I was picturing the cover of the newspapers the next day, with the caption "Three passengers aboard the flight were all graudates of the same high school, coming home from vacation..."

You see, in that instance when I bumped into these old friends, I found it way too weird that we were all taking the same flight back home. I was convinced we'd die in a terrible airplane crash. I could see the story in my mind unfolding as we were waiting to get on that plane. I was not sure I should even get on that plane, for I was sure we were doomed.

I guess you could say I sometimes see the cup 'half empty' rather than 'half full'. I tend to think of the worst case scenario wherever I go, thinking that I'm not capable of avoiding disaster.

Another time, in a taxi in Greece, I noticed the driver was taking my friends and I a very odd way home - so I screamed for him to stop driving, and insisted we get out, as I had a feeling he was going to kidnap us. No kidding. The three of us went running, half laughing, half screaming, with him just yelling at us to give him his money. He must have thought we were nuts. But hey - better safe than sorry, right?

I can be so dramatic sometimes, but the fear I have is real and I have come to terms with the fact that I'm going to live like this forever.

Once, while enjoying some fries on a local patio, I noticed the ketchup I was dipping my fries in was rather... crunchy. But I kept eating. That's how much I love my fries. Upon further investigation, I realized the ketchup had tiny bits of glass in it. I called the hospital. I told them I had eaten some glass, and they did nothing to calm me down. Instead, I was told I should probably go to the emergency room, as the glass could travel to my lungs. So off to the hospital I went, and waited 3 hours to be seen. By then, I was pretty sure I was going to be okay. And I was.

The moment I am struck with panic and fear, there is nothing you can say to me to calm me down. Wine sometimes helps, though...

I get this way with my children, too. I worry about everything, constantly. This is probably the number one reason I'm pretty sure I'm not going to have more children. The nights when either one of my children are sick, I worry so much it ages me about 10 years. At the rate I'm going, I figure my life expectancy will be drastically reduced with another addition to our family.

The gate we have at the top of ours stairs is there for the protection of the children at night, but secretly, I love the gate because if anyone were to break into the house, the gate would make it a lot harder for them to come into our rooms. And at least with them stuggling to figure out how to get it open, I'd have time to gather everyone up in one room, close and lock the door, push the dresser in front of the door, and call 9-1-1.

See? Who thinks like that?

It doesn't end, this worry I have. It's just a part of who I am. But somehow, even when I'm in the most awful situation - for instance, when my son needed surgery last year to drain fluid in his lung due to the bad case of pneumonia he had, I was able to live through it. However, coming out of that experience did not make me a stronger person. I think once you are exposed to upsetting situations, things that you are most scared of, it only adds to your worry. I don't quite understand the concept of 'it only makes you stronger'. In what way have I come out a stronger person? In fact, I think I am more weak, more aware.

But still. Even though I'll be looking over my shoulder as I walk to my car in the dark parking lot after work, making sure no one is hiding in the backseat of my car, I will go home, and have a great night with my boys - a night that will be filled with laughter, some fighting, lots of food, and plenty of playing.